Seminary is amazing, but there are times when there is no choice but to react and not think about some of the things that are being taught in class. Nor are you given time to fully stop and consider self-belief in some of the topics brought up. So here I am with about 2 weeks to consider my last quarter/year of seminary and think about some of my personal beliefs on each of the topics. These are boring and uninteresting to common readers, or at least they bore me.
Yet I am sitting typing this, waiting to go out to dinner with my Arroyo Grande friends for all you can eat pizza, I am turned back to a simple cross that is around my neck and what it means. It is odd to think that it was not a month ago I was in Texas at Cursillo, and I had a whole post on the sudden shock of going back into the real world, and not much changed about my life. With the sudden dunking of papers, finals, midterms, third declension of Greek nouns all looming over my head, I was just able to scrape by to Thanksgiving, and then crawl my way through finals week and into Christmas break. I have only one regret about Cursillo: That I did not go out and stand in the Texas Thunderstorm, despite every instinct to do so.
So now I am at my parents house and have just been listening in on some of the things that my Dad has commented about being in ministry. About problems, about congregations, about governing Presbyterian bodies. He is getting close to 20 years at the same church with is a statement of commitment to his goals, but being in Seminary has shown me many things that have just gone wrong in churches. The question hasn’t come down to ‘why are there problems?’ but has become more along the lines of ‘which problems do you want to deal with?’ Slowly I am beginning to see how each church is a living breathing thing that has a personality (or multiple) that needs help in more way than one.
So here I stand with this understanding of agape love: a love that loves until the object of the love gives in. Looking back at the ‘work force’ that I am going into, I wonder how I could ever give up on someone. I look back and can see that I wasn’t able to help out everyone, but to give up on someone who had invested time in? My little brain cannot compute that equation. Maybe it is that I am tired at the time of writing this, but I know I am able to remember my failures more so than my successes. Yet when it comes to this I can only see the faces of the kids who I ‘know’ were affected by my presence and interaction.
Sometime later …
Back in Pasadena and reading this over again. Not much has changed, and I don’t have any answers to the questions, or worse the answer only produces more questions. I have finished one year of schooling, and have 2 more to go. With school starting on Wednesday (for me, I have no Tuesday class this quarter) I'm looking ahead with the question of: will I have time to ponder all of my questions? Wondering where I might be in two years is a little ambitious, maybe just three months out is far enough.
Saturday, December 30, 2006
Monday, December 25, 2006
Merry Christmas
Sometimes others have better words than I do. Today is such a case.
And the first time that you opened your eyes, did you realize that you would be my savior?
And the first breath that left your lips, did you know that it would change this world forever?
And I, I celebrate the day
That you were born to die
So I could one day pray for you to save my life
Pray for you to save my life
- I Celebrate the Day, Relient K
And the first time that you opened your eyes, did you realize that you would be my savior?
And the first breath that left your lips, did you know that it would change this world forever?
And I, I celebrate the day
That you were born to die
So I could one day pray for you to save my life
Pray for you to save my life
- I Celebrate the Day, Relient K
Tuesday, December 19, 2006
Christmas Nostalgia
Around Christmas time I get nostalgic for some very specific memories. One of them is hunting up a copy of National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation if only for the sledding scene. With the invention of YouTube I have found a pair of hi-larious claymations from my younger years. I found the whole thing in a Three Part Series. But there are two classic pieces that are here now for your viewing pleasure:
Angels we Have Heard on High (No Penguins were harmed in it's making):
And - We Three Kings:
Angels we Have Heard on High (No Penguins were harmed in it's making):
And - We Three Kings:
Monday, December 11, 2006
Post finals wrap up
Today is Saturday. Today is the first ‘official’ day of Christmas break. Today is the first day of me being a second year at Fuller.
Since school is out that means I get to return to one of my joys in life: Running like a crazy man after a Frisbee. This is sometimes called therapy for me, if only because any frustrations are run out on the field and put out in a friendly game of who can catch the flying disk. For those in the audience who are wondering: ‘Frisbee, therapeutic … not quite sure I follow.’ While yes it normally wipes me out for the rest of the day, It allows me to just enjoy a day of doing little to no work. While I had intended to clean my apartment, prepare some food so I could make fried rice later, and go out to replace my now empty supply of cream soda. Instead I watched a movie, played a little guitar and still might go out for the cream soda. Priorities people … gotta have ‘em.
I have a really boring Christmas break coming up. I mean I’m going to go home, do my favorite vacation activity (as little as possible), and then come back to Pasadena. I will get to see the family and talk to my home church but for the most part it should be a nice week of relaxing and enjoying the rest. I do have a week to watch Season 4, courtesy of Blockbuster. If I don’t emerge from my apartment for 2 days, send for help.
It is a little odd to think that I am 1/3 done with my seminary career, but it is true. I can no longer claim ignorance in the face of questions of how things were done the year before. Not that I won’t try, but still it is sometimes nice to play dumb. Either way it is the first time that I have enjoyed school. It is weird to have professors walk in and say that teaching doesn’t feel like work, from what I have seen I believe it though. There is not an all campus aura of stress, and struggle to try to figure things out. I sometimes wonder if I am make-believe land where life is perfect and nothing is ever wrong.
Well maybe not … A buddy of mine just had his first son. One of the classes we shared this quarter was patristic theology covering everything from post-apostles up till about Augustine in the early 400s. We talked about baptism and opinions. While I’m not really in the mood to rant it has brought up an interesting consideration. While it is not limited to this one topic I have been challenged in areas where I don’t know the answers. For all my fear of systematic theology, I am beginning to wonder if I should start taking some.
Sunday:
Season 4 - 4 disks down, 2 to go. I call 24 my drug of choice, I’ll be admitting myself to rehab Monday night.
SHORTEST
YEAR
EVER!
YEAR
EVER!
Since school is out that means I get to return to one of my joys in life: Running like a crazy man after a Frisbee. This is sometimes called therapy for me, if only because any frustrations are run out on the field and put out in a friendly game of who can catch the flying disk. For those in the audience who are wondering: ‘Frisbee, therapeutic … not quite sure I follow.’ While yes it normally wipes me out for the rest of the day, It allows me to just enjoy a day of doing little to no work. While I had intended to clean my apartment, prepare some food so I could make fried rice later, and go out to replace my now empty supply of cream soda. Instead I watched a movie, played a little guitar and still might go out for the cream soda. Priorities people … gotta have ‘em.
I have a really boring Christmas break coming up. I mean I’m going to go home, do my favorite vacation activity (as little as possible), and then come back to Pasadena. I will get to see the family and talk to my home church but for the most part it should be a nice week of relaxing and enjoying the rest. I do have a week to watch Season 4, courtesy of Blockbuster. If I don’t emerge from my apartment for 2 days, send for help.
It is a little odd to think that I am 1/3 done with my seminary career, but it is true. I can no longer claim ignorance in the face of questions of how things were done the year before. Not that I won’t try, but still it is sometimes nice to play dumb. Either way it is the first time that I have enjoyed school. It is weird to have professors walk in and say that teaching doesn’t feel like work, from what I have seen I believe it though. There is not an all campus aura of stress, and struggle to try to figure things out. I sometimes wonder if I am make-believe land where life is perfect and nothing is ever wrong.
Well maybe not … A buddy of mine just had his first son. One of the classes we shared this quarter was patristic theology covering everything from post-apostles up till about Augustine in the early 400s. We talked about baptism and opinions. While I’m not really in the mood to rant it has brought up an interesting consideration. While it is not limited to this one topic I have been challenged in areas where I don’t know the answers. For all my fear of systematic theology, I am beginning to wonder if I should start taking some.
Sunday:
Season 4 - 4 disks down, 2 to go. I call 24 my drug of choice, I’ll be admitting myself to rehab Monday night.
Sunday, December 03, 2006
A Small Problem
I have become a Latte snob ... of the Vanilla persuasion. I have spent mornings driving down Lake to get one at Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf rather than walk to the closest coffee bar. I feel like less of a person. I will be seeking help after finals.
Thursday, November 30, 2006
Pre-Finals Brain Dump
So where do we start? I think in New Mexico: A flash presentation of Weird Al’s Albuquerque. Set aside about 10 min for random stupidity.
Casino Royale
It is always nice to be driving home for thanksgiving and having your mom call and say the following words: “So sushi and the new James Bond movie … I’m buying” Yes please! So after getting my healthy dose of wasabi we go to see the new James Bond. A very different James Bond.
He is just mean … I dunno if it is a director’s choice or a progression in film making but normally James Bond movies are pretty ‘subtle’ in the progression of violence and blood. This is not. I will say that the movie is never over till the credits role (and they should have put in about 15 more minutes) The humor is not the normal dry, but has some very nice sarcastic comments and play on words.
The best scene is the first one after the credits, and I’m pretty sure they did it without wires and the scene is just a little insane.
Thanksgiving
I love this holiday. First off is the nice 2 days off of school, but the best thing about it is the food. My family normally has a group of about 15ish people over every year with homemade everything. First thing in the oven are the blueberry muffins, the true sign of the holidays around my parent’s house. Right around 2ish the house starts to smell good. This is important to me since I can smell good BBQ from about a block away including what is on the grill. Sometimes I can have a two-block radius if I am hungry, but that’s another topic of discussion. This is one of those days where it is required that you eat thirds and fourths, followed by desert.
The other love from home was turning on my parent’s fireplace. My parents have tile floor which gets really hot in the sun, and really cold at night. I must be becoming wimp (or getting a cold) because my body has been cold at home where the temp has been about 20 Degrees colder than ‘summer’ in LA. I might have to go put some sweat pants on. Something about a fireplace signals the holidays and the changing seasons where nature doesn’t react to the change of seasons. We also pulled down the 2 car loads of Christmas stuff for my mom to decorate our house.
Being Thankful:
I tried to be clever and do the whole A-Z thing, but I found out I’m not that clever. Aside from family I found some things that were things that have snuck up on me in the past year or so of Seminary.
Guitar
Something about sitting down on my couch when my brain is full of stuff and just playing music is so very comforting. Many times God will lead me to songs that echo where I am and draw me closer to him.
And Bass Guitar
Quote of the week goes to Becca: “You just look happier playing bass.”
I love playing bass but it is very hard to lead worship on a bass. Some of it is that I am able to cut loose a little more and articulate some things better on bass than on a guitar. It is kinda hard to put into words, but there is something about playing my bass that is fun, either that or it brings out my goofball persona.
Tightening the Screws
I am sarcastic from time to time … ok most of the time, but one of the things that has been amazing to watch is how God has been using Seminary to really turn the pressure up on me to return to a life seeking him. The combination of theology and personal conduct make for a very stressful life, but in the end I come to a better understanding of my actions and myself.
Casino Royale
It is always nice to be driving home for thanksgiving and having your mom call and say the following words: “So sushi and the new James Bond movie … I’m buying” Yes please! So after getting my healthy dose of wasabi we go to see the new James Bond. A very different James Bond.
He is just mean … I dunno if it is a director’s choice or a progression in film making but normally James Bond movies are pretty ‘subtle’ in the progression of violence and blood. This is not. I will say that the movie is never over till the credits role (and they should have put in about 15 more minutes) The humor is not the normal dry, but has some very nice sarcastic comments and play on words.
The best scene is the first one after the credits, and I’m pretty sure they did it without wires and the scene is just a little insane.
Thanksgiving
I love this holiday. First off is the nice 2 days off of school, but the best thing about it is the food. My family normally has a group of about 15ish people over every year with homemade everything. First thing in the oven are the blueberry muffins, the true sign of the holidays around my parent’s house. Right around 2ish the house starts to smell good. This is important to me since I can smell good BBQ from about a block away including what is on the grill. Sometimes I can have a two-block radius if I am hungry, but that’s another topic of discussion. This is one of those days where it is required that you eat thirds and fourths, followed by desert.
The other love from home was turning on my parent’s fireplace. My parents have tile floor which gets really hot in the sun, and really cold at night. I must be becoming wimp (or getting a cold) because my body has been cold at home where the temp has been about 20 Degrees colder than ‘summer’ in LA. I might have to go put some sweat pants on. Something about a fireplace signals the holidays and the changing seasons where nature doesn’t react to the change of seasons. We also pulled down the 2 car loads of Christmas stuff for my mom to decorate our house.
Being Thankful:
I tried to be clever and do the whole A-Z thing, but I found out I’m not that clever. Aside from family I found some things that were things that have snuck up on me in the past year or so of Seminary.
Guitar
Something about sitting down on my couch when my brain is full of stuff and just playing music is so very comforting. Many times God will lead me to songs that echo where I am and draw me closer to him.
And Bass Guitar
Quote of the week goes to Becca: “You just look happier playing bass.”
I love playing bass but it is very hard to lead worship on a bass. Some of it is that I am able to cut loose a little more and articulate some things better on bass than on a guitar. It is kinda hard to put into words, but there is something about playing my bass that is fun, either that or it brings out my goofball persona.
Tightening the Screws
I am sarcastic from time to time … ok most of the time, but one of the things that has been amazing to watch is how God has been using Seminary to really turn the pressure up on me to return to a life seeking him. The combination of theology and personal conduct make for a very stressful life, but in the end I come to a better understanding of my actions and myself.
Saturday, November 18, 2006
Mountain high to valley low
So I got back from Cursillo (outside of Huston Texas) almost a week ago, I’m still not sure what happened there or what I’m doing back in California. If (a very big if) Cursillo could be summed up I would do as such: Cursillo redefines love. Three words don’t do Cursillo justice so allow me to elaborate, expand, and unpack (my suitcase) for a moment.
In every form of love there is an understanding of the limits of love (with the exception of Christ’s) or at the very least a fear that love will not always be faithful. This is seen in the world around us as people are looking for some measure of love but find it in the worst places for the wrong reasons. Cursillo is three full days involving 24 hours each where Christ’s love is expressed, encountered, and cannot be avoided; and trying to resist only makes it worse. For perspective Cursillo is like filling shot glasses with a fire hose on full, and Cursillo doesn’t let you empty the glass at all. The result is that you have no choice but to give in and switch up to the swimming pool with the waterslide, and diving board and then have a cannonball contest in an attempt to empty the pool to keep up with the inflow. 72 hours of this, with surprises along the way effectively function as flash floods in filling up the pool.
You break, everyone does at some point. I broke, took less than 24 hrs too, and I’m very stubborn.
But enough about Seattle … Normally after something like a Cursillo weekend or camp weekend there is a time of decompressing that needs to happen. Decompression needs to happen at a slow rate or else bad things happen. Healthy Example: Your ears pop as you go up and down in elevation to rectify pressure. Unhealthy Example: Space shuttle loses compression. I could go in to details but Hollywood has done a few good examples, but that experience is the opposite of fun and is not recommended. I didn’t get this time, and got thrown right back into the middle of life. I can remember having a conversation about how do we as post-Cursillo people (who have the temporary thinking capability of mush) go back into the world when the world isn’t on the same page but more like in a different book in a different library. I’m still not sure I know, well I know the opportunities and some I intend to do. However, life was waiting for me on the trip home from Texas, with it’s own needs time involvement and challenges; All of them demanding.
So what did I do? Our transportation to the Huston airport (who was a staff member of Cursillo) gave me a simple wooden cross, on a simple leather band. I’m not much of a jewelry guy, nor do I like broadcasting that I am a Christian by use of bumper stickers, mostly because I don’t always represent my beliefs well; yet this cross stays around my neck. Since it is new I am very aware of it, and when I put on my school bag I can feel it, I can feel the edges and corners when I put pressure on it. It is very very tangible in reminding me of what I should represent, and what my actions should be. It has variable weight depending on my situation where it might just hang and then there are times when it weighs heavy and I can feel it against my body.
My life right now is in a slow motion upheaval. Everything is already up in the air it is just a matter of where things are going to fall, and if they are going to break, bounce up again, or come to rest. In these times I look for constants, like finding joy in worship, and sometimes constants present themselves in the form of a simple cross around a neck. Sometimes that variable weight is very comforting.
In every form of love there is an understanding of the limits of love (with the exception of Christ’s) or at the very least a fear that love will not always be faithful. This is seen in the world around us as people are looking for some measure of love but find it in the worst places for the wrong reasons. Cursillo is three full days involving 24 hours each where Christ’s love is expressed, encountered, and cannot be avoided; and trying to resist only makes it worse. For perspective Cursillo is like filling shot glasses with a fire hose on full, and Cursillo doesn’t let you empty the glass at all. The result is that you have no choice but to give in and switch up to the swimming pool with the waterslide, and diving board and then have a cannonball contest in an attempt to empty the pool to keep up with the inflow. 72 hours of this, with surprises along the way effectively function as flash floods in filling up the pool.
You break, everyone does at some point. I broke, took less than 24 hrs too, and I’m very stubborn.
But enough about Seattle … Normally after something like a Cursillo weekend or camp weekend there is a time of decompressing that needs to happen. Decompression needs to happen at a slow rate or else bad things happen. Healthy Example: Your ears pop as you go up and down in elevation to rectify pressure. Unhealthy Example: Space shuttle loses compression. I could go in to details but Hollywood has done a few good examples, but that experience is the opposite of fun and is not recommended. I didn’t get this time, and got thrown right back into the middle of life. I can remember having a conversation about how do we as post-Cursillo people (who have the temporary thinking capability of mush) go back into the world when the world isn’t on the same page but more like in a different book in a different library. I’m still not sure I know, well I know the opportunities and some I intend to do. However, life was waiting for me on the trip home from Texas, with it’s own needs time involvement and challenges; All of them demanding.
So what did I do? Our transportation to the Huston airport (who was a staff member of Cursillo) gave me a simple wooden cross, on a simple leather band. I’m not much of a jewelry guy, nor do I like broadcasting that I am a Christian by use of bumper stickers, mostly because I don’t always represent my beliefs well; yet this cross stays around my neck. Since it is new I am very aware of it, and when I put on my school bag I can feel it, I can feel the edges and corners when I put pressure on it. It is very very tangible in reminding me of what I should represent, and what my actions should be. It has variable weight depending on my situation where it might just hang and then there are times when it weighs heavy and I can feel it against my body.
My life right now is in a slow motion upheaval. Everything is already up in the air it is just a matter of where things are going to fall, and if they are going to break, bounce up again, or come to rest. In these times I look for constants, like finding joy in worship, and sometimes constants present themselves in the form of a simple cross around a neck. Sometimes that variable weight is very comforting.
Monday, November 06, 2006
As the world wakes up
It is still dark and my eyelids don’t want to open, but I’m stilling here at a cabin by lake arrowhead at 6am watching the world wake up. Darkness fights to keep its hold on the world as the edge of my world begins to glow. Slowly darkness is pulled away and shapes and objects are visible. Slowly God turns up the color in the world with the dead leaves that turn in this pine forest. It takes a bit longer but slow the green comes in, and even the white on the patio is dull. It is still dark and the horizon is still just shape and dark. The sky has turned grey as it begins to get some of it’s blue. The edge of the world is white with a tint of orange.
Slowly the world begins to warm. In undergrad I learned that breezes are caused by sudden temperature changes to the ground. So at sunrise and sunset the world warms or cools and a breeze will pass over the land trying to even out temperatures as the ground heats the air, or begins to become cooler than the air around it. Heat flows towards cool. This still life of progressive color begins to dance, birds cry outside for food.
The far ridgeline begins to take on some color as the greens near me begin to look like the life that they stand for.
The trees begin to get nervous in their dance as the guest of honor progresses slowly up the far ridge. The finale, when darkness is no more, when life begins to flow, when nothing is hidden, and everything is a peace. But it isn’t time yet; there is still some waiting to be done. So I wait …
The parade begins to move in full motion as the sun rises on the far ridge, judging from the light it looks like I am in the wrong place to see it crest and blind me. Soon the sounds of the rest of the house begin to move, and the world outside goes on with the parade that lasts until the sun sets.
Nov 4th near Arrowhead Lake
Slowly the world begins to warm. In undergrad I learned that breezes are caused by sudden temperature changes to the ground. So at sunrise and sunset the world warms or cools and a breeze will pass over the land trying to even out temperatures as the ground heats the air, or begins to become cooler than the air around it. Heat flows towards cool. This still life of progressive color begins to dance, birds cry outside for food.
The far ridgeline begins to take on some color as the greens near me begin to look like the life that they stand for.
The trees begin to get nervous in their dance as the guest of honor progresses slowly up the far ridge. The finale, when darkness is no more, when life begins to flow, when nothing is hidden, and everything is a peace. But it isn’t time yet; there is still some waiting to be done. So I wait …
The parade begins to move in full motion as the sun rises on the far ridge, judging from the light it looks like I am in the wrong place to see it crest and blind me. Soon the sounds of the rest of the house begin to move, and the world outside goes on with the parade that lasts until the sun sets.
Nov 4th near Arrowhead Lake
Monday, October 23, 2006
Good Idea. Bad Idea.
First I would like to thank Jenn Moore for indirectly reminding me of one of my great childhood joys. On evening when I needed to ask her something I saw her away message of “Goodnight moon” which triggered the memory one of my favorite after school cartoons … Animaniacs. The trigger was directed around a remake of that line into “Nighty night toon.” This series has given me much joy in remaking a variety of already funny jokes even funnier. I’m not sure why but falling anvils are funny, and I have not seen that level of comedic writing in quite some time.
So ….
Good Idea: Driving home after you go to church.
Bad Idea: Driving home after you go to a 3 hour evening concert at church.
I went home (again) to play in the annual fraternity flag football tourney on the blistering sandbar of Pismo Beach. (Say that last like a la Chris Burmen and it will make sense) My intention was to play football Saturday, go to church on Sunday and then drive home to recover. I found out that there was a spare ticket (or two) and could think of about any number of reasons to NOT go to the concert.
[The concert in question involved 4 bands: Last Tuesday (as opposed to Late Tuesday), John Ruben, Sanctus Real, and Superchic[k]. The last two are on my normal rotation of music listening, the second I have heard of but not investigated, and the first I had only heard of.]
Needless to say (well maybe it does) I really didn’t care about my physical and mental well-being … So I went to church again. Hey it still fell in my line of planning of going home after church … well minus the recover part.
I have no regrets about going to the concert, other than the insanity that I demonstrated this morning, and might be having right now, but I might need a third opinion since the first two are my own.
So ….
Good Idea: Driving home after you go to church.
Bad Idea: Driving home after you go to a 3 hour evening concert at church.
I went home (again) to play in the annual fraternity flag football tourney on the blistering sandbar of Pismo Beach. (Say that last like a la Chris Burmen and it will make sense) My intention was to play football Saturday, go to church on Sunday and then drive home to recover. I found out that there was a spare ticket (or two) and could think of about any number of reasons to NOT go to the concert.
[The concert in question involved 4 bands: Last Tuesday (as opposed to Late Tuesday), John Ruben, Sanctus Real, and Superchic[k]. The last two are on my normal rotation of music listening, the second I have heard of but not investigated, and the first I had only heard of.]
Needless to say (well maybe it does) I really didn’t care about my physical and mental well-being … So I went to church again. Hey it still fell in my line of planning of going home after church … well minus the recover part.
I have no regrets about going to the concert, other than the insanity that I demonstrated this morning, and might be having right now, but I might need a third opinion since the first two are my own.
Saturday, October 14, 2006
Shock and Awe
So I went home this weekend to work for my mom and support my Seminary habit. While I have never seen the Disneyland fireworks extravaganza, I have seen fireworks. The drive home put them to shame. I was very thankful for prayer right before driving home. I hadn’t even gotten to the 101/405 interchange before seeing two accidents and hitting traffic. Not my favorite way to start a trip. Round about Santa Barbara the show began.
Most of the time my drives home are moments of reflection, and contemplation, or arguing. I had much to contemplate on the drive home but it kinda got pushed to the side. God was doing some late night artwork in the form of an electrical storm. Lightning alone is somewhat intimidating; it is bright, scary, and can kill you. Yet God was at work lighting up the sky with stroke after stroke after magnificent stroke.
Traveling over Cachuma Pass (shortcut that I take that goes up into the mountains above Santa Barbara) I had the storm displayed before me. Bending arcs, crawling arcs, Arcs that would strike, and then another would 1 second later, but the sky where the first strike was still black because your eyes were still temporarily blind. It wasn’t raining either, and I could still see the stars in the sky. Now and again lightning would arc but not be visible and polarize a white background with black clouds in front. Red tinted strikes, blue tinted strikes. Strikes that would synchronize with the music I was playing.
The teaching part came in 3 different strikes (no pun intended). The first was the fact that I had Tomlin’s Indescribable playing at one point and understood maybe for the first time the truth of that song. The second was a concept of God’s creation from my Pentateuch class and the ‘speaking’ light into darkness. Granted I had headlights, and orange dials showing some light as well as random lights from small towns, but they were pale in comparison. There is only one thing that I know of in human creation that can light up the sky like lightning: It ended one war, was the cause of another that was more of a race, and is in the news on the other side of the ocean. The last part came when I reached Santa Maria and the storm was overhead getting more of the ‘Awe’ part of the storm. Having the world go from dark to daylight to dark again is a little startling, if not creepy. I was reminded of many of the first sayings of angels who appear to people: ‘Do not fear’ when in a more direct meaning awe is a fearful reverence.
I normally get reminders when I have forgotten something…
Most of the time my drives home are moments of reflection, and contemplation, or arguing. I had much to contemplate on the drive home but it kinda got pushed to the side. God was doing some late night artwork in the form of an electrical storm. Lightning alone is somewhat intimidating; it is bright, scary, and can kill you. Yet God was at work lighting up the sky with stroke after stroke after magnificent stroke.
Traveling over Cachuma Pass (shortcut that I take that goes up into the mountains above Santa Barbara) I had the storm displayed before me. Bending arcs, crawling arcs, Arcs that would strike, and then another would 1 second later, but the sky where the first strike was still black because your eyes were still temporarily blind. It wasn’t raining either, and I could still see the stars in the sky. Now and again lightning would arc but not be visible and polarize a white background with black clouds in front. Red tinted strikes, blue tinted strikes. Strikes that would synchronize with the music I was playing.
The teaching part came in 3 different strikes (no pun intended). The first was the fact that I had Tomlin’s Indescribable playing at one point and understood maybe for the first time the truth of that song. The second was a concept of God’s creation from my Pentateuch class and the ‘speaking’ light into darkness. Granted I had headlights, and orange dials showing some light as well as random lights from small towns, but they were pale in comparison. There is only one thing that I know of in human creation that can light up the sky like lightning: It ended one war, was the cause of another that was more of a race, and is in the news on the other side of the ocean. The last part came when I reached Santa Maria and the storm was overhead getting more of the ‘Awe’ part of the storm. Having the world go from dark to daylight to dark again is a little startling, if not creepy. I was reminded of many of the first sayings of angels who appear to people: ‘Do not fear’ when in a more direct meaning awe is a fearful reverence.
I normally get reminders when I have forgotten something…
Monday, October 02, 2006
Climbing out From Under the Pile
Oh … I’m sorry, have you been looking here for me? I’ve been a little busy and things are kinda a mess around here. But I’ll try to catch you up to speed. The last two weeks have been a little nutty and if I seem to be a few screws short that is because they fell off somewhere along the way.
Orientation Week
I got a job working on-call for ATC at Fuller (Audio/Video tech for the campus) I worked three larger events and got to use some random fun stuff that they have. (rear projector screens are interesting) I got to play with the sound gear at First Cong. as well as see what goes into a weekly Travis chapel service when my first job was doing sound for the staff/faculty chapel.
The more and more I hear Dr. Mouw speak the more and more I like him and what he stands for. The man has stories and life experiences that are almost surreal in the grand scheme of things. The man has been everywhere, done more than a few things that are worthy of note, is in conversation with more people than I would be able to count, and at the same time has a sound and firm understanding in his faith. The man has a theology centered on the third verse of hymns, but more than anything he is a storyteller; something I aspire to be in my ministry.
First week o’ School
Classes are going to be a wonderful experience this quarter. I have good friends in every class that I am in, as well as getting to know a few new students in Church history. Greek is going to be enjoyable and difficult at the same time. Church history is going to be 1 part history, 1 part theology, and 1 part comedy, season with doughnuts, simmer at medium heat till ready. Pentateuch is going to be a little slower, but I think as we get moving it will start to interest me more as we get to the narrative sections. Foundations: I’m still slightly bitter about this class for other reasons, but in the end I think it will be a good time. I have a group of people that I know all but two of them through other relations.
Then there was the BBQ
Much fun was had, I got the hard question of “If you were able to take over a character in a movie, who would you be?” While I answered Han Solo, the real answer is Malcolm Reynolds from Serenity. Some of you are sick of my Serenity shtick; what you have to know is that you’re just going to have to deal with it. I’m not sure anyone else at the BBQ would have known who he was.
I can educate you on Serenity, but expect that it will take up at least 2 hours for movie watching for the basic course, and if you want to see more, then plan on a weekly event. Enrolment is free, and you get 4 units that will not transfer or apply to any degree program other than that of being a nerd.
What did we learn? (plays veggie tales lesson music)
And so what we have learned applies to our lives today, and God has a lot to say in His Book.
Yes, I did Google these words, and yes I'm posting them here.
You see, we know that God's Word is for everyone; and now that our song is done, we'll take a look.
I’m writing this at the end of the weekend, I have had a nap each day as the physical tiredness of the week finally caught up to me. They were two good weeks, and more than anything I had to trust in God to do things that I could not do. I had many things that I had expected to do taken away from me. Looking back it was a good thing, not only for me but also for others who helped pick up the things I had to give up. I say that I am good at delegating things, but I think I have a lot to improve on. I know I have a stubborn button in me that makes walking across hot tar look easy in comparison to trying to overcome my stubbornness.
Something that I heard recently was on the subject of asking for help. It was a discussion on how to help the homeless. But I think the principle stretches beyond that. The idea is that asking for help makes you weaker and allows the other person to have confidence in their abilities. I don't ask for help all that often, and normally when I do, I'm so far in over my head that my weakness ends up affecting other things. The bible alludes to many situations of being strong in faith, but in most of the day-to-day things, God asks us to rely on him rather than ourselves; a point that I am only beginning to understand as I write these words. These words should shuffle around in my head for this week.
Afterthoughts:
New Movies:
Kiss, Kiss, Bang, Bang - FUNNY!!! Mystery flick
Ice Harvest - Another Mystery flick - So So
New Music:
Jars of Clay - Good Monsters: I can’t get enough of their lyrics, I need to give the slower half of the album another chance, but I have one song that I can keep playing on repeat both for the truth of the words and the music behind it.
Evanescence: New Album on Oct 3rd, going to run to Target and pick it up before class.
Orientation Week
I got a job working on-call for ATC at Fuller (Audio/Video tech for the campus) I worked three larger events and got to use some random fun stuff that they have. (rear projector screens are interesting) I got to play with the sound gear at First Cong. as well as see what goes into a weekly Travis chapel service when my first job was doing sound for the staff/faculty chapel.
The more and more I hear Dr. Mouw speak the more and more I like him and what he stands for. The man has stories and life experiences that are almost surreal in the grand scheme of things. The man has been everywhere, done more than a few things that are worthy of note, is in conversation with more people than I would be able to count, and at the same time has a sound and firm understanding in his faith. The man has a theology centered on the third verse of hymns, but more than anything he is a storyteller; something I aspire to be in my ministry.
First week o’ School
Classes are going to be a wonderful experience this quarter. I have good friends in every class that I am in, as well as getting to know a few new students in Church history. Greek is going to be enjoyable and difficult at the same time. Church history is going to be 1 part history, 1 part theology, and 1 part comedy, season with doughnuts, simmer at medium heat till ready. Pentateuch is going to be a little slower, but I think as we get moving it will start to interest me more as we get to the narrative sections. Foundations: I’m still slightly bitter about this class for other reasons, but in the end I think it will be a good time. I have a group of people that I know all but two of them through other relations.
Then there was the BBQ
Much fun was had, I got the hard question of “If you were able to take over a character in a movie, who would you be?” While I answered Han Solo, the real answer is Malcolm Reynolds from Serenity. Some of you are sick of my Serenity shtick; what you have to know is that you’re just going to have to deal with it. I’m not sure anyone else at the BBQ would have known who he was.
I can educate you on Serenity, but expect that it will take up at least 2 hours for movie watching for the basic course, and if you want to see more, then plan on a weekly event. Enrolment is free, and you get 4 units that will not transfer or apply to any degree program other than that of being a nerd.
What did we learn? (plays veggie tales lesson music)
And so what we have learned applies to our lives today, and God has a lot to say in His Book.
Yes, I did Google these words, and yes I'm posting them here.
You see, we know that God's Word is for everyone; and now that our song is done, we'll take a look.
I’m writing this at the end of the weekend, I have had a nap each day as the physical tiredness of the week finally caught up to me. They were two good weeks, and more than anything I had to trust in God to do things that I could not do. I had many things that I had expected to do taken away from me. Looking back it was a good thing, not only for me but also for others who helped pick up the things I had to give up. I say that I am good at delegating things, but I think I have a lot to improve on. I know I have a stubborn button in me that makes walking across hot tar look easy in comparison to trying to overcome my stubbornness.
Something that I heard recently was on the subject of asking for help. It was a discussion on how to help the homeless. But I think the principle stretches beyond that. The idea is that asking for help makes you weaker and allows the other person to have confidence in their abilities. I don't ask for help all that often, and normally when I do, I'm so far in over my head that my weakness ends up affecting other things. The bible alludes to many situations of being strong in faith, but in most of the day-to-day things, God asks us to rely on him rather than ourselves; a point that I am only beginning to understand as I write these words. These words should shuffle around in my head for this week.
Afterthoughts:
New Movies:
Kiss, Kiss, Bang, Bang - FUNNY!!! Mystery flick
Ice Harvest - Another Mystery flick - So So
New Music:
Jars of Clay - Good Monsters: I can’t get enough of their lyrics, I need to give the slower half of the album another chance, but I have one song that I can keep playing on repeat both for the truth of the words and the music behind it.
Evanescence: New Album on Oct 3rd, going to run to Target and pick it up before class.
Tuesday, September 19, 2006
Feelings ...
For those who feel like my friend here does ... This one is for you
I hope I have friends like Animal: Supportive, and there for me. I hope to do the same.
I hope I have friends like Animal: Supportive, and there for me. I hope to do the same.
Wednesday, September 13, 2006
Musings at 3am
My body has been waking up at 1am and 4am consistently for the past week or so, with me finally getting out of bed around 6:30. So I’ve been awake for about an hour now (since 2am), which is not a good thing but my brain is operating in 4th gear with the grammar of reverse so this should be interesting.
I have been watching much of the Firefly episodes of which the movie Serenity is based off of. Mostly for humor and to enjoy myself, but something about the ship itself has been dancing around in the back of my mind, and it centers around the last lines of Serenity. The captain is telling a new crew member the first rule of flying a (space)ship:
"Love. You can know all the math in the 'Verse, but take a boat in the air you don't love, she'll shake you off just as sure as the turning of worlds. Love keeps her in the air when she oughta fall down, tells ya she's hurtin' 'fore she keens. Makes her home."
I sometimes wonder if the same principle applies to churches. I church I attend is done up in a cathedral style that is quite elegant, but it was pointed out to me that the ceiling looks much like an inverted boat hull. I have seen some movies where there will be ships as part of the sanctuary (I can’t remember them even if it wasn’t 3:30am). So what is the first rule of pasturing a church?
'Love. You can know all the administration in the world, but pastor a church you don’t love, she’ll shake you off just as sure as the sun rises and falls. Love keeps her going when she should close doors, tells you her problems before they show up. Makes her home.'
Now abide these three: faith, hope, and love; but the greatest of these is love.
Time to go back to sleep … I think I'm starting to make sense ...
I have been watching much of the Firefly episodes of which the movie Serenity is based off of. Mostly for humor and to enjoy myself, but something about the ship itself has been dancing around in the back of my mind, and it centers around the last lines of Serenity. The captain is telling a new crew member the first rule of flying a (space)ship:
"Love. You can know all the math in the 'Verse, but take a boat in the air you don't love, she'll shake you off just as sure as the turning of worlds. Love keeps her in the air when she oughta fall down, tells ya she's hurtin' 'fore she keens. Makes her home."
I sometimes wonder if the same principle applies to churches. I church I attend is done up in a cathedral style that is quite elegant, but it was pointed out to me that the ceiling looks much like an inverted boat hull. I have seen some movies where there will be ships as part of the sanctuary (I can’t remember them even if it wasn’t 3:30am). So what is the first rule of pasturing a church?
'Love. You can know all the administration in the world, but pastor a church you don’t love, she’ll shake you off just as sure as the sun rises and falls. Love keeps her going when she should close doors, tells you her problems before they show up. Makes her home.'
Now abide these three: faith, hope, and love; but the greatest of these is love.
Time to go back to sleep … I think I'm starting to make sense ...
Monday, September 04, 2006
A Moment of Silence
I will admit that I am not a 'huge' Steve Irwin fan. But I still respect the man, and he will be missed.
Thursday, August 31, 2006
Wednesday, August 23, 2006
Names
I’m writing this as I wanted to use it for my film paper on The Final Cut, but found that I couldn’t fit it in thematically or logically, but most of all I need to get it out of my head so I can finish my thought processes.
When I look back and remember things I have learned or experiences I have had they normally have a name associated with them. For example: When I encountered God for what was the first ‘real’ time the names of Bart Tarman(former chaplain of Westmont College in Santa Barbara, CA) and Jill Pole are some of the first things that come to mind, more so Jill. In the two times I have had to move away from people who were very close friends I have simply told them to remember my name as it has more power than anything I have ever told them. I mean think about it: as Christians use the name of Jesus there is a certain understanding of what his life was like, we sometimes forget the tiny details. We can remember the major events, the type of person he was, and what his goals in life were. Jesus sent his disciples out ‘In his name’ knowing that he would be with the disciples if they remembered and spoke of Jesus himself.
I could list out probably 50 names of people that have directly affected me. Not many of them would be people who I barely knew and spoke from a pulpit once a week. Some people would have two names that mean two entirely different things. All of these are the names of friends who have shaped and molded my life whether they know it or not. The memories I have shared and remember are the things I treasure.
The premise behind The Final Cut is that technology has the ability to record all the visual and audio sounds that a person experiences over their lifetime. When the die those memories are stored in a computer file and then a person makes a movie of their life. The person who makes the movie is not involved with the family and has a huge computer to aid him in the film making process. The conflict of the movie revolves around how should people remember each other. Do you have a life distilled down by someone who has no emotional attachment; or do you remember what you have in your mind?
I have been to only one funeral in my lifetime. It was with someone who I barely knew, but after coming out I knew how the rest of the room felt. The memories and emotions that those in the room felt transmitted more than the words they spoke. Sometimes that which is unsaid speaks more than what is.
My name is Alan, my friends call me Cletus, and my closest friends call me a dork. And I embrace each of these with much joy.
When I look back and remember things I have learned or experiences I have had they normally have a name associated with them. For example: When I encountered God for what was the first ‘real’ time the names of Bart Tarman(former chaplain of Westmont College in Santa Barbara, CA) and Jill Pole are some of the first things that come to mind, more so Jill. In the two times I have had to move away from people who were very close friends I have simply told them to remember my name as it has more power than anything I have ever told them. I mean think about it: as Christians use the name of Jesus there is a certain understanding of what his life was like, we sometimes forget the tiny details. We can remember the major events, the type of person he was, and what his goals in life were. Jesus sent his disciples out ‘In his name’ knowing that he would be with the disciples if they remembered and spoke of Jesus himself.
I could list out probably 50 names of people that have directly affected me. Not many of them would be people who I barely knew and spoke from a pulpit once a week. Some people would have two names that mean two entirely different things. All of these are the names of friends who have shaped and molded my life whether they know it or not. The memories I have shared and remember are the things I treasure.
The premise behind The Final Cut is that technology has the ability to record all the visual and audio sounds that a person experiences over their lifetime. When the die those memories are stored in a computer file and then a person makes a movie of their life. The person who makes the movie is not involved with the family and has a huge computer to aid him in the film making process. The conflict of the movie revolves around how should people remember each other. Do you have a life distilled down by someone who has no emotional attachment; or do you remember what you have in your mind?
I have been to only one funeral in my lifetime. It was with someone who I barely knew, but after coming out I knew how the rest of the room felt. The memories and emotions that those in the room felt transmitted more than the words they spoke. Sometimes that which is unsaid speaks more than what is.
My name is Alan, my friends call me Cletus, and my closest friends call me a dork. And I embrace each of these with much joy.
Wednesday, August 09, 2006
Concerting …
I’m kinda a music guy. At any given point there is music playing in the background, even if everyone else can’t hear it, and I have really really cool background music. I don’t quite have enough money to hire a band to walk behind me and play ‘walking music’ but I can imagine.
Anywho Summer is normally the time for going to concerts since I have free time. I say normally as this year I missed my annual trip to the world of Spirit West Coast - Think Woodstock but all Christian artists. I just got a phone call from my normal partner in crime and got a report from this year’s trip and I must say that I am very angry that I was taking class, and I might just have to take 8 units next summer. I don’t want to discuss specific bands that I missed, as even in going I miss bands that I want to see only because there are three stages going on at the same time.
The Joust (As told by ‘the champ,’ exaggerated by me):
It is a long standing tradition that junior and senior high school students like beating up on their youth leaders. So the bet has become this: If one of them can beat up my buddy they are entitled to a free ‘vendor food’ of their choice, if they loose they become errand boy for the leader for one meal (leader pays). My buddy is about 5’ 10” and about 220 lbs, I am 5’10” just under 200. I am the gatekeeper, and they have to get past me to get to him, and I am undefeated. I have made more of my students look stupid than I care to admit, and I enjoyed it very much.
The joust is not our medieval joust in the sense of horses and lances; it is basically a wooden pole with really soft pillows wrapped around the end so no one gets hurt. Well except for one’s ego, but that already got hurt during the preflight trash talk.
This year I was not there, so my buddy replaced my with a very energetic 5’5”ish 120ish lbs (this is mostly from the last time I saw her a year ago) angel of a girl who graduated from high school a couple of years ago. Nice girl, no real Joust experience. So the champ is called to do battle (he is only the champ because the High schoolers want a piece of him more than they want a piece of me.) On the podium is the high school kid who really wants a piece of my buddy. I think this kid is 5’7” ish 130-140lbs and just a scrappy fighter. The kid is all set and joust in hand standing waiting to do battle. My buddy puts on his headgear, climbs up, and reaches down for the joust. At this moment the kid takes a swing while the champ is off balance…
The champ’s nickname when he is not jousting is “The Bear.” And the general rule is that “Don’t poke the bear or he will maul you.”
… and it was called the poke heard round the ring, as the crowd knew the result of the fight. The bear decided to ‘play with his food’ before putting it down, but the Kid did get his chance.
My Dad the rock star:
Audio Adrenaline is on it’s farewell tour and will not be a band at the end of this year. This is mostly due to the lead singer Mark Stuart’s voice basically being spent to the point there is scar tissue (I think). So the group made some “Adios” T-Shirts to wish the band goodbye and they all wore them to the concert. (They have obviously not watched PCU.) Their big hit “Big House” they normally do in concert and then at the end they have someone from the audience sing the last word.
My dad is a self-proclaimed geezer, he has made T-shirts and hats (I have a hat,) and SWC has a ‘good seats’ option where you can pay extra cash to be right up next to the stage. He and ‘his’ partner in crime purchased two of said seats. At the point in the song when the last line was to be sung, Mark hops down into the crowd and PULLS MY DAD UP ON STAGE. If I was younger than I am today, I think I would be embarrassed. So on stage, my dad gets to sing the last note of “Big House” I can only imagine it will be coming soon to a sermon example near you. I have been told there are pictures to record this event, and I just hope they are not cell phone pictures.
Casting Crowns:
I did make a road trip up to see Casting Crowns in concert with two friends and aside from the crazy drive (till 2am) we had a good time. I enjoyed a good time of touring the Mid-state fair and just getting away from school and out of LA. It was a nice change of scenery and in general a very worshipful evening that gave me a nice spiritual recharge after my vacation week of physical recharge. (More on vacation when I think about it)
Minor Things:
Newsboys: Rumor has it that with their new ‘non-worship’ album the greatest gift to a drummer is making a comeback to their set. Describing it would not do it justice. It must be seen to be believed. I’m getting giddy just thinking about it.
Anywho Summer is normally the time for going to concerts since I have free time. I say normally as this year I missed my annual trip to the world of Spirit West Coast - Think Woodstock but all Christian artists. I just got a phone call from my normal partner in crime and got a report from this year’s trip and I must say that I am very angry that I was taking class, and I might just have to take 8 units next summer. I don’t want to discuss specific bands that I missed, as even in going I miss bands that I want to see only because there are three stages going on at the same time.
The Joust (As told by ‘the champ,’ exaggerated by me):
It is a long standing tradition that junior and senior high school students like beating up on their youth leaders. So the bet has become this: If one of them can beat up my buddy they are entitled to a free ‘vendor food’ of their choice, if they loose they become errand boy for the leader for one meal (leader pays). My buddy is about 5’ 10” and about 220 lbs, I am 5’10” just under 200. I am the gatekeeper, and they have to get past me to get to him, and I am undefeated. I have made more of my students look stupid than I care to admit, and I enjoyed it very much.
The joust is not our medieval joust in the sense of horses and lances; it is basically a wooden pole with really soft pillows wrapped around the end so no one gets hurt. Well except for one’s ego, but that already got hurt during the preflight trash talk.
This year I was not there, so my buddy replaced my with a very energetic 5’5”ish 120ish lbs (this is mostly from the last time I saw her a year ago) angel of a girl who graduated from high school a couple of years ago. Nice girl, no real Joust experience. So the champ is called to do battle (he is only the champ because the High schoolers want a piece of him more than they want a piece of me.) On the podium is the high school kid who really wants a piece of my buddy. I think this kid is 5’7” ish 130-140lbs and just a scrappy fighter. The kid is all set and joust in hand standing waiting to do battle. My buddy puts on his headgear, climbs up, and reaches down for the joust. At this moment the kid takes a swing while the champ is off balance…
The champ’s nickname when he is not jousting is “The Bear.” And the general rule is that “Don’t poke the bear or he will maul you.”
… and it was called the poke heard round the ring, as the crowd knew the result of the fight. The bear decided to ‘play with his food’ before putting it down, but the Kid did get his chance.
My Dad the rock star:
Audio Adrenaline is on it’s farewell tour and will not be a band at the end of this year. This is mostly due to the lead singer Mark Stuart’s voice basically being spent to the point there is scar tissue (I think). So the group made some “Adios” T-Shirts to wish the band goodbye and they all wore them to the concert. (They have obviously not watched PCU.) Their big hit “Big House” they normally do in concert and then at the end they have someone from the audience sing the last word.
My dad is a self-proclaimed geezer, he has made T-shirts and hats (I have a hat,) and SWC has a ‘good seats’ option where you can pay extra cash to be right up next to the stage. He and ‘his’ partner in crime purchased two of said seats. At the point in the song when the last line was to be sung, Mark hops down into the crowd and PULLS MY DAD UP ON STAGE. If I was younger than I am today, I think I would be embarrassed. So on stage, my dad gets to sing the last note of “Big House” I can only imagine it will be coming soon to a sermon example near you. I have been told there are pictures to record this event, and I just hope they are not cell phone pictures.
Casting Crowns:
I did make a road trip up to see Casting Crowns in concert with two friends and aside from the crazy drive (till 2am) we had a good time. I enjoyed a good time of touring the Mid-state fair and just getting away from school and out of LA. It was a nice change of scenery and in general a very worshipful evening that gave me a nice spiritual recharge after my vacation week of physical recharge. (More on vacation when I think about it)
Minor Things:
Newsboys: Rumor has it that with their new ‘non-worship’ album the greatest gift to a drummer is making a comeback to their set. Describing it would not do it justice. It must be seen to be believed. I’m getting giddy just thinking about it.
Monday, July 17, 2006
Movies, Movies, Movies
I am on two weeks of vacation, and have been spending my money wisely. Good things (movies in this case) always come in threes and we go from funny to serious … I think. Please note that I hate receiving spoilers about movies I know I am going to see, so I will elude to spoilers, but not specifically come out an say it.
Cars - Fun
First off: Its P I X A R … that is all you need to know. If you have not seen this movie you need to seek another website that displays movie times and pick one.
I think the best part of this movie is the part dealing with a play on one of the greatest urban myths around. I will say no more, and if you see it coming, you will still enjoy it. All in all there are so many great moments within the movie, and make sure you stay around for the credits. Pixar has a superstition about John Ratzenberger that I never knew until I watched the commentary for The Incredibles. The part on the commentary is pretty much in the very last part of The Incredibles. Then again, you might be able to figure it out during the credits of Cars.
Final Comment: This movie will be added to my collection the day it comes out on DVD.
Pirates 2 - Scary fun
(Deep breath in, Deep breath out) I wish I could do an acrostic using the word amazing to describe my enjoyment of this movie. Between a furthering of the storyline (not going to say plot) and nice twist at the end I wait for the finale next summer with slightly less expectation than I had with Return of the King.
I appreciated some of the camera angle and the creativity of presenting some of the situations. On the top of my list is the organ, the watermill, and most of Davey Jones’ ship. However this movie is not for the faint of heart and is much ‘darker’ than the first one.
Final Comment: Now and again someone comes out with a very good review on a movie, this is pure satire by your neighborhood ninja. Also there is a post credits thing that is a final joke.
Saved - Scary serious
Ok a slightly older movie that I haven’t seen, but I have to watch it for my class in August so I figured I would get a head start on it. While I’m sure I will be watching it two or so more times before mid August, I can say that I will be enjoying the time spent. Aside from being enjoyable and a couple of years old, it is so modern that it defies logic. I wish I could call this movie satire, but I know people that are like some of the characters in this movie. Most of them I haven’t seen in a long time and are really only second hand information.
I have watched it twice now (second time with the two main actress’ commentary) and working through some of the deep questions, and how perception and intention got blurred. Also how some times lines come across as a natural understanding have quite a different meaning if the brain is skewed just right. (It is in the scene where the HS pastor is talking to his son). In the end you have every character dealing with real life issues. Hits closer to home than is sometimes comfortable.
Final Comment: Good movie, makes you think. Not quite a Dogma thinking, but in my future dealings with a youth group I’m sure this will come up.
Cars - Fun
First off: Its P I X A R … that is all you need to know. If you have not seen this movie you need to seek another website that displays movie times and pick one.
I think the best part of this movie is the part dealing with a play on one of the greatest urban myths around. I will say no more, and if you see it coming, you will still enjoy it. All in all there are so many great moments within the movie, and make sure you stay around for the credits. Pixar has a superstition about John Ratzenberger that I never knew until I watched the commentary for The Incredibles. The part on the commentary is pretty much in the very last part of The Incredibles. Then again, you might be able to figure it out during the credits of Cars.
Final Comment: This movie will be added to my collection the day it comes out on DVD.
Pirates 2 - Scary fun
(Deep breath in, Deep breath out) I wish I could do an acrostic using the word amazing to describe my enjoyment of this movie. Between a furthering of the storyline (not going to say plot) and nice twist at the end I wait for the finale next summer with slightly less expectation than I had with Return of the King.
I appreciated some of the camera angle and the creativity of presenting some of the situations. On the top of my list is the organ, the watermill, and most of Davey Jones’ ship. However this movie is not for the faint of heart and is much ‘darker’ than the first one.
Final Comment: Now and again someone comes out with a very good review on a movie, this is pure satire by your neighborhood ninja. Also there is a post credits thing that is a final joke.
Saved - Scary serious
Ok a slightly older movie that I haven’t seen, but I have to watch it for my class in August so I figured I would get a head start on it. While I’m sure I will be watching it two or so more times before mid August, I can say that I will be enjoying the time spent. Aside from being enjoyable and a couple of years old, it is so modern that it defies logic. I wish I could call this movie satire, but I know people that are like some of the characters in this movie. Most of them I haven’t seen in a long time and are really only second hand information.
I have watched it twice now (second time with the two main actress’ commentary) and working through some of the deep questions, and how perception and intention got blurred. Also how some times lines come across as a natural understanding have quite a different meaning if the brain is skewed just right. (It is in the scene where the HS pastor is talking to his son). In the end you have every character dealing with real life issues. Hits closer to home than is sometimes comfortable.
Final Comment: Good movie, makes you think. Not quite a Dogma thinking, but in my future dealings with a youth group I’m sure this will come up.
Monday, July 03, 2006
Superman Returns
They say a picture is worth a thousand words. For your consideration I leave you with my thousand words.
Friday, June 30, 2006
Stones
Friday!!!!!!
Ok so I just experienced what 10 weeks feels like condensed into 2 weeks. It is a little nuts. Luckily for me my next two-week session doesn’t start till Wednesday (pending getting an email) so I have time to work through some stuff, but there really is only one thing: The group presentation project that we had to do for class, and the naivety that I have about the church.
Our project description was to present a bible study for seminary students that would go beyond what a normal bible study did and to push the people in the crowd to make a decision to actually do something about it. We did John 8:1-11 … The Stoning of the Adulterous Woman. Not something easy to do, but we felt very strongly about it. So we went for it, and our goal was to make the class look at the woman as the adulterous church rather than just a sinner. The link was drawn from the OT idea that Israel was called an adulterous bride in that they had turned away from God.
Rewind to Thursday: So we passed out rocks to everyone in the class … and then said this:
Sin exists in the church, sometimes in obvious ways, sometimes as wolves in sheep’s clothing. Sometimes it is a person, sometimes it is a doctrine, and sometimes it is ‘the way things are.’ Some of us have heard of churches that have fallen because of sin. Rory spoke two days ago about picking your battles within a church. Think about the battles that you want to fight, but just are not able to with the resources you have. Do they get under your skin? Do they keep you awake at night? Do you clench your fists till your knuckles turn white? Do you sit in your car yelling at God?
Perhaps the church has done something that has hurt you. I have a scar on my arm from when I broke my arm but this scar might be on your heart. Do you see it from time to time as you look inward? Has the wound healed? Is it still open? Is it festering with infection?
Lets come back to the passage, and put yourself in the place of the crowd (if you have difficultly doing that just pick your rock up.) Your standing there getting a good grip. Maybe picking a sharp side that you want to end up hitting her. Now that you have your grip, your eyes rise up off the rock and look up to see the woman. But is not the woman you see but the church that has hurt you, or drives you nuts. That something or someone embodied there. What do you see? The accusers are talking to someone on the side, but there it is, helpless, cant move, point blank, it’s a free shot.
After some more discussion we changed the point of view from the crowd to that of Christ. We had everyone look at their rocks and give a name to the rock in the form of the hurt or the thing. We went on to point out that Jesus acknowledge the woman's sin, and while the crowd had every right to throw stones, Jesus showed grace. We put a bucket up in the front and let people come up and drop their rocks if they wanted too, and gave them room to state what it was. I cried at some of the responses I heard
- I need to let God judge his own church
- The church that wasn’t there for me
- The church that sucked the life out of my family
- The church that destroyed the pastor’s marriage
- Fake Christians
- We have to be whole before we can make others whole.
If it were not for the fact that I had to catch up with some homework I would have done this yesterday. There were a few people who slammed their rocks down, others who just went up and were barely able to hold themselves together.
I do not claim that this short summary can even come close to the atmosphere of the room, but the hurts that were there were real.
Come back to Friday: I saw one of the rocks in class. It brought me hope. After the last of the presentations our professor got up and lost it, all the presentations hit very close to home in so many lives of the class that the class was for the better. Beyond just our presentation the Holy Spirit showed up each day in the sense that the groups that were on the same day, set up and complemented each other. We did not have a time for presentations but we had a teaching by the Holy Spirit. Our professor had to stop slight and collect herself some, and then she blessed us.
From this issues we discussed, we will need it.
Ok so I just experienced what 10 weeks feels like condensed into 2 weeks. It is a little nuts. Luckily for me my next two-week session doesn’t start till Wednesday (pending getting an email) so I have time to work through some stuff, but there really is only one thing: The group presentation project that we had to do for class, and the naivety that I have about the church.
Our project description was to present a bible study for seminary students that would go beyond what a normal bible study did and to push the people in the crowd to make a decision to actually do something about it. We did John 8:1-11 … The Stoning of the Adulterous Woman. Not something easy to do, but we felt very strongly about it. So we went for it, and our goal was to make the class look at the woman as the adulterous church rather than just a sinner. The link was drawn from the OT idea that Israel was called an adulterous bride in that they had turned away from God.
Rewind to Thursday: So we passed out rocks to everyone in the class … and then said this:
Sin exists in the church, sometimes in obvious ways, sometimes as wolves in sheep’s clothing. Sometimes it is a person, sometimes it is a doctrine, and sometimes it is ‘the way things are.’ Some of us have heard of churches that have fallen because of sin. Rory spoke two days ago about picking your battles within a church. Think about the battles that you want to fight, but just are not able to with the resources you have. Do they get under your skin? Do they keep you awake at night? Do you clench your fists till your knuckles turn white? Do you sit in your car yelling at God?
Perhaps the church has done something that has hurt you. I have a scar on my arm from when I broke my arm but this scar might be on your heart. Do you see it from time to time as you look inward? Has the wound healed? Is it still open? Is it festering with infection?
Lets come back to the passage, and put yourself in the place of the crowd (if you have difficultly doing that just pick your rock up.) Your standing there getting a good grip. Maybe picking a sharp side that you want to end up hitting her. Now that you have your grip, your eyes rise up off the rock and look up to see the woman. But is not the woman you see but the church that has hurt you, or drives you nuts. That something or someone embodied there. What do you see? The accusers are talking to someone on the side, but there it is, helpless, cant move, point blank, it’s a free shot.
After some more discussion we changed the point of view from the crowd to that of Christ. We had everyone look at their rocks and give a name to the rock in the form of the hurt or the thing. We went on to point out that Jesus acknowledge the woman's sin, and while the crowd had every right to throw stones, Jesus showed grace. We put a bucket up in the front and let people come up and drop their rocks if they wanted too, and gave them room to state what it was. I cried at some of the responses I heard
- I need to let God judge his own church
- The church that wasn’t there for me
- The church that sucked the life out of my family
- The church that destroyed the pastor’s marriage
- Fake Christians
- We have to be whole before we can make others whole.
If it were not for the fact that I had to catch up with some homework I would have done this yesterday. There were a few people who slammed their rocks down, others who just went up and were barely able to hold themselves together.
I do not claim that this short summary can even come close to the atmosphere of the room, but the hurts that were there were real.
Come back to Friday: I saw one of the rocks in class. It brought me hope. After the last of the presentations our professor got up and lost it, all the presentations hit very close to home in so many lives of the class that the class was for the better. Beyond just our presentation the Holy Spirit showed up each day in the sense that the groups that were on the same day, set up and complemented each other. We did not have a time for presentations but we had a teaching by the Holy Spirit. Our professor had to stop slight and collect herself some, and then she blessed us.
From this issues we discussed, we will need it.
Sunday, June 11, 2006
Post Finals Sanity
If such a thing exists… Mostly I am just tired of seeing my cynical blog up when I really don’t feel like that anymore. That and the more and more I look at it was a combination of final’s stress and paper writing. After I got my head screwed back on straight everything was fine. I has been a long, busy, but rewarding weekend.
Friday
This was the last day of paper writing, but I was done by around noon and had the rest of the afternoon to take a nap and then I got to go to my introduction to working commencement on Saturday. I had my first night where I was not worried about anything except getting a good chunk of rest. The guitar was out and I was very very very thankful and I probably could have sung for hours, if not for being exhausted, and having to get up at 5:15...
Saturday
To be at commencement by 6:15, looking shaven and pretty like. In the end I think I got the easy job doing student line up. I saw some of the ushers, they were having ‘fun’ and making sure others were sharing in the ‘fun’ More than anything I learned how not to screw up my on graduation some years ahead of me. By 1:30pm we were done both mentally and physically. I came home had some munchies, got a second shower, and just staggered around my apartment. By about 4 I finally figured out that I could actually enjoy my evening, so I decided to pick up a book I bought at the beginning of summer to read at some point, but never did: Orson Scott Card’s Ender’s Game.
Now I wasn’t always a seminary student, in fact I have the driver’s license to prove I was a nerd (In the nicest sense of the word). Stopping 30 minutes for dinner, and an hour when two buddies showed up, I went to bed at midnight having read the book cover to cover. I look at my iTunes and I went through 5 Caedmon’s Call Albums, 2 Casting Crowns Albums, and 2 Chris Tomlin Albums, with timestamps to show for my marathon reading. Ender’s Game resonated with me on so many different levels I am still working through some of the relationships and deceptions that are in that book. On some levels it reminds me of seminary, on another the idea of relationships. The book is basically a wartime strategy type of book and the one exchange that stuck out early in the book and then emphasized the point throughout was this:
“Individual human beings are all tools, that the others use to help us all survive”
“That’s a lie.”
“No. It’s just a half-truth. You can worry about the other half after we win this war.”
The more I try to process through this concept, the more and more I see the truth in it. In a sense it frightens me as well when I slowly begin to grasp the full measure of it’s worth. I had been told by many that I needed to read this book, and after doing so, it will be one of the few books that I will read again.
Sunday
I went to morning service at Cornerstone Bible Church in Glendora, where my roommate from college works as the worship pastor and youth director. It was a well-rewarded trip of worship, and fellowship. One of my older high school students from Santa Barbara was in town and we had a good talk before we parted ways, but an afternoon among believers and sharing a meal was a much-needed rest. I left my apartment roughly at 10:30, attended 11am service and got home around quarter to 4, and then promptly took a nap. I was reminded again of the importance of fellowship, and the power that it has to relax me and remind me of why I am paying as much money as I am to get an education that will drive me nuts. This trip was refreshing, renewing, and a reminder.
The rest of the day was relaxing as I got to see some other friends that were now done with finals, I get to watch the US world cup game in the morning, and I have a whole week to recover from this quarter before diving back in to the books. I think I might need it.
Friday
This was the last day of paper writing, but I was done by around noon and had the rest of the afternoon to take a nap and then I got to go to my introduction to working commencement on Saturday. I had my first night where I was not worried about anything except getting a good chunk of rest. The guitar was out and I was very very very thankful and I probably could have sung for hours, if not for being exhausted, and having to get up at 5:15...
Saturday
To be at commencement by 6:15, looking shaven and pretty like. In the end I think I got the easy job doing student line up. I saw some of the ushers, they were having ‘fun’ and making sure others were sharing in the ‘fun’ More than anything I learned how not to screw up my on graduation some years ahead of me. By 1:30pm we were done both mentally and physically. I came home had some munchies, got a second shower, and just staggered around my apartment. By about 4 I finally figured out that I could actually enjoy my evening, so I decided to pick up a book I bought at the beginning of summer to read at some point, but never did: Orson Scott Card’s Ender’s Game.
Now I wasn’t always a seminary student, in fact I have the driver’s license to prove I was a nerd (In the nicest sense of the word). Stopping 30 minutes for dinner, and an hour when two buddies showed up, I went to bed at midnight having read the book cover to cover. I look at my iTunes and I went through 5 Caedmon’s Call Albums, 2 Casting Crowns Albums, and 2 Chris Tomlin Albums, with timestamps to show for my marathon reading. Ender’s Game resonated with me on so many different levels I am still working through some of the relationships and deceptions that are in that book. On some levels it reminds me of seminary, on another the idea of relationships. The book is basically a wartime strategy type of book and the one exchange that stuck out early in the book and then emphasized the point throughout was this:
“Individual human beings are all tools, that the others use to help us all survive”
“That’s a lie.”
“No. It’s just a half-truth. You can worry about the other half after we win this war.”
The more I try to process through this concept, the more and more I see the truth in it. In a sense it frightens me as well when I slowly begin to grasp the full measure of it’s worth. I had been told by many that I needed to read this book, and after doing so, it will be one of the few books that I will read again.
Sunday
I went to morning service at Cornerstone Bible Church in Glendora, where my roommate from college works as the worship pastor and youth director. It was a well-rewarded trip of worship, and fellowship. One of my older high school students from Santa Barbara was in town and we had a good talk before we parted ways, but an afternoon among believers and sharing a meal was a much-needed rest. I left my apartment roughly at 10:30, attended 11am service and got home around quarter to 4, and then promptly took a nap. I was reminded again of the importance of fellowship, and the power that it has to relax me and remind me of why I am paying as much money as I am to get an education that will drive me nuts. This trip was refreshing, renewing, and a reminder.
The rest of the day was relaxing as I got to see some other friends that were now done with finals, I get to watch the US world cup game in the morning, and I have a whole week to recover from this quarter before diving back in to the books. I think I might need it.
Wednesday, June 07, 2006
Cynical
I don't know what has gotten into me, I'm posting daily on Finals week ....
I’m not alright/I’m broken inside/Broken inside
Sanctus Real came out with a new CD recently and it has been my theme music for the day, I have spent most of the day in a rather poor state of mind, dealing with things that I should have to. I spent 20 minutes basically yelling (typing) at a blank MS word document getting all the junk in my brain out before sitting down and writing my short paper and figuring out what I wanted to say for my long one. I am quickly remembering that writing is a good way for me to work my thoughts out and lets me focus on the tasks at hand.
My brain is a tacticians brain, so when I run into a problem my brain likes to look at all the wrong ways of solving the problem and getting it out of my system so I can make the right choice in a course of action. I have tried to work the wrong choices out through prayer, focus on God, music, but it isn’t until I put it to paper it comes back and haunts me. Think of typing it as writing a draft that you don’t like and then crumple up and add to the pile of paper balls by the trashcan. The rest of the stuff you see up here on the blog.
To day I learned that I am quite broken right now, when dealing with finals and life issues at the same time. Most of the day was trying to calm myself down, and I’m glad that I really didn’t see to many of my friends today or I very likely would have put my foot so far in my mouth it would have gotten stuck in my throat. I was angry with them for reasons that they wouldn’t have known which wouldn’t have helped me explain myself. My problem is that I was only singing the first line of the chorus and missing out on the second
And all I’ve been through/leads me to you/it leads me to you.
So I pull out my guitar having stopped the song in the middle of the chorus, and go sit down playing some minor chord combinations, just feeling like a miserable waste of biomass. Some how I start playing Jars of Clay: The Valley Song:
I will sing of your mercy,
Which leads me through
Valleys of sorrow
To rivers of joy
Broken again only a slightly different type of broken. I looked back at my day and realized the fractures, the one toward friends and the one toward my God. This was roughly about the same time that I started typing this. Those of you who I was angry with, I’m sorry, I might let you know someday, but with finals looming there will be no added stress. And for the record I do have an evil side, it just normally stays in check.
I’m not alright/I’m broken inside/Broken inside
Sanctus Real came out with a new CD recently and it has been my theme music for the day, I have spent most of the day in a rather poor state of mind, dealing with things that I should have to. I spent 20 minutes basically yelling (typing) at a blank MS word document getting all the junk in my brain out before sitting down and writing my short paper and figuring out what I wanted to say for my long one. I am quickly remembering that writing is a good way for me to work my thoughts out and lets me focus on the tasks at hand.
My brain is a tacticians brain, so when I run into a problem my brain likes to look at all the wrong ways of solving the problem and getting it out of my system so I can make the right choice in a course of action. I have tried to work the wrong choices out through prayer, focus on God, music, but it isn’t until I put it to paper it comes back and haunts me. Think of typing it as writing a draft that you don’t like and then crumple up and add to the pile of paper balls by the trashcan. The rest of the stuff you see up here on the blog.
To day I learned that I am quite broken right now, when dealing with finals and life issues at the same time. Most of the day was trying to calm myself down, and I’m glad that I really didn’t see to many of my friends today or I very likely would have put my foot so far in my mouth it would have gotten stuck in my throat. I was angry with them for reasons that they wouldn’t have known which wouldn’t have helped me explain myself. My problem is that I was only singing the first line of the chorus and missing out on the second
And all I’ve been through/leads me to you/it leads me to you.
So I pull out my guitar having stopped the song in the middle of the chorus, and go sit down playing some minor chord combinations, just feeling like a miserable waste of biomass. Some how I start playing Jars of Clay: The Valley Song:
I will sing of your mercy,
Which leads me through
Valleys of sorrow
To rivers of joy
Broken again only a slightly different type of broken. I looked back at my day and realized the fractures, the one toward friends and the one toward my God. This was roughly about the same time that I started typing this. Those of you who I was angry with, I’m sorry, I might let you know someday, but with finals looming there will be no added stress. And for the record I do have an evil side, it just normally stays in check.
Tuesday, June 06, 2006
Time Wasters
Strangely enough my serious side isn’t the first side that shows up when I meet someone. It is much easier to engage someone with humor and popular culture than a deep theological conversation. It is much easier to goof off instead of studying. If you are studying read no further unless you are willing to accept the loss of multiple hours of your time. Please note that if you are reading this you are already wasting time or need something that isn’t a book or paper to fill your time. I just finished my tests this morning and haven’t done anything productive all day, neither should you.
www.askaninja.com - Just start from about question 13 and go forward, one of my new favorite sites to visit.
www.eviloverlord.com/lists/overlord.html - What not to do if you plan on taking over the world.
www.homestarrunner.com/sbemail.html - If you don’t know what this is … I’m sorry
www.albinoblacksheep.com - About half the stuff is good, just go to the best of sections under flash. Language and content warning.
There are more, but these are the general knowledge ones, I have comics that I read that center around video games from my life before seminary. If you get through these I might have more later.
www.askaninja.com - Just start from about question 13 and go forward, one of my new favorite sites to visit.
www.eviloverlord.com/lists/overlord.html - What not to do if you plan on taking over the world.
www.homestarrunner.com/sbemail.html - If you don’t know what this is … I’m sorry
www.albinoblacksheep.com - About half the stuff is good, just go to the best of sections under flash. Language and content warning.
There are more, but these are the general knowledge ones, I have comics that I read that center around video games from my life before seminary. If you get through these I might have more later.
Sunday, June 04, 2006
The John 15:13 Protocol
There is a part of me that would follow this down to the very letter. I can picture the faces of those individuals who I would do this for with out second though or regret. (If I had a moment to regret the finality of the ‘to the letter’ execution) Some people might be surprised to be on that list of people, others know that they are there and in the end we would probably fight each other on who gets to lay down and who gets spared and both go down, then look at each other on the far side of death and roll our eyes at each other.
There is a lesser form of this Protocol, that doesn’t involve pain and suffering, but rather a commitment of time. Today I took 4 hours out of my day (5 if you count lunch) to pick up one of my old youth group kids about 1hr south of where I live and transport her 1hr north of where I live. (Santa Ana to Ventura) This was after I found out on Friday that she was stuck in Santa Ana after a miscommunication with one of her rides. So I call her up late and I am pretty sure she is shocked to hear me on the other line, but in the end she is thankful. I had planned on going to Glendora for the day to worship in the morning at my old college roommate’s church and then crawl into a Starbucks and hide from the rest of the world for the day and get the outline for my Old Testament essay final done.
No hesitation, no thinking, my left and right hand were in agreement as they worked together to call her. She was blessed by the ride and I was one of the cool people who got to hang out with her on her 2.5-week trip to California (from Florida). I gave up hanging out with my friend and getting a good morning with God to bless a wayward traveler, all I got in return was a hug, which was all that was needed. There are more details by which I would explain myself, but she may read this and she isn’t ready to hear the rest them. The simple part of me hopes that she simply understands that she is loved, and that there are good people in the world.
Carly Hudson: If you are lost, stuck, or in need of help; I will be there for you if it is within my power to do so, but you already know that ...
This goes for everyone else too.
There is a lesser form of this Protocol, that doesn’t involve pain and suffering, but rather a commitment of time. Today I took 4 hours out of my day (5 if you count lunch) to pick up one of my old youth group kids about 1hr south of where I live and transport her 1hr north of where I live. (Santa Ana to Ventura) This was after I found out on Friday that she was stuck in Santa Ana after a miscommunication with one of her rides. So I call her up late and I am pretty sure she is shocked to hear me on the other line, but in the end she is thankful. I had planned on going to Glendora for the day to worship in the morning at my old college roommate’s church and then crawl into a Starbucks and hide from the rest of the world for the day and get the outline for my Old Testament essay final done.
No hesitation, no thinking, my left and right hand were in agreement as they worked together to call her. She was blessed by the ride and I was one of the cool people who got to hang out with her on her 2.5-week trip to California (from Florida). I gave up hanging out with my friend and getting a good morning with God to bless a wayward traveler, all I got in return was a hug, which was all that was needed. There are more details by which I would explain myself, but she may read this and she isn’t ready to hear the rest them. The simple part of me hopes that she simply understands that she is loved, and that there are good people in the world.
Carly Hudson: If you are lost, stuck, or in need of help; I will be there for you if it is within my power to do so, but you already know that ...
This goes for everyone else too.
Thursday, May 25, 2006
The Difference a Day Makes
Thurs 7:40am
Now, I’m an early morning person (my internal alarm clock goes off somewhere in the vicinity of 5:30 - 6:00am every morning, The snooze button works maybe once a week) and my day normally begins with a slow wake up in front of my computer. After checking my email, reading a few comics that I frequent and doing a little goofing off it’s a shower and then off to wherever I am going for the day. This is normally done by 7:30 at the latest.
This morning after my shower I realized that it was going to be a good day. It’s Thursday, I get to see two of my ‘grown up’ high school kids from Santa Barbara, lead worship, and pick up the keys to my new apartment. All in all it should be a good day.
So then what is the difference between seeing a good day and a bad day coming. Monday looked like it was going to be a good day as well. A morning of quality worship, many of those who were gathered there thanked me for just the time of worship as opposed to another morning of usual routine. I went to class slightly exhausted, as I normally get when God has used me, and things are looking good. After class I run into a good friend of mine and for all the joy that she had in the morning she got sideswiped by a wrecking ball, eighteen-wheeler, and the Titanic in one blow. Good day to bad day.
On the other hand I can remember many a bad day that turned out for good. In college the youth group was putting on a large scale outreach event: 130ish kids planned to show up, 4 inflatable games, BBQ, music, etc etc. I was in charge of food and BBQ, cause I’m like that. So I trade out my 2 door sports car for a 2 door truck to move all the food, I am at Costco by the time they open, and load up around $200 worth of food in to the back of my buddies truck, by myself. Go to drive the food to the church and the truck doesn’t start. The engine doesn’t even try to turn over. So I go get my car (same parking lot) and try to jump his car, no luck.
$200 of food + broken truck = not cool.
I start making phone calls looking for another truck and help moving the stuff. I need another truck because the BBQ we are going to use looks like someone cut a metal barrel in half, welded a frame around both ends and then put a grill on the top. Very cool, needs a truck to move it. By this time I have gotten over panic mode and am really just starting to enjoy and see every single irony that was happening. Quite literally I was missing every singly light, I had to drive behind every slow driver that was passing another slow driver who was passing a semi, the list goes on.
4pm rolls around and I finally have everything set up, fire started and kids should start to show up around 5ish. I was supposed to have precooked the burgers and have been done cooking around noon - 1ish. Band practice is done and the inflato-games are being delivered. Music and message yields about 40 kids coming up to accept or rededicate themselves to Christ.
There is no such thing as a good day or a bad day, not until it is over at least. But rather moments and chances for God to use our gifts, abilities, and our time for his glory. How we react to the trials in our lives builds our character and shows those around us what type of person we are. If my cynical, sarcastic, depressed mood had kicked in on that day there may not have been as many who would have come up to accept Christ. The attitude that we show affects those around us, even if we don’t realize it.
9:30 pm
It was a good day, I'm tired, packed, and I think I'm going to have another fun day tomorrow.
Now, I’m an early morning person (my internal alarm clock goes off somewhere in the vicinity of 5:30 - 6:00am every morning, The snooze button works maybe once a week) and my day normally begins with a slow wake up in front of my computer. After checking my email, reading a few comics that I frequent and doing a little goofing off it’s a shower and then off to wherever I am going for the day. This is normally done by 7:30 at the latest.
This morning after my shower I realized that it was going to be a good day. It’s Thursday, I get to see two of my ‘grown up’ high school kids from Santa Barbara, lead worship, and pick up the keys to my new apartment. All in all it should be a good day.
So then what is the difference between seeing a good day and a bad day coming. Monday looked like it was going to be a good day as well. A morning of quality worship, many of those who were gathered there thanked me for just the time of worship as opposed to another morning of usual routine. I went to class slightly exhausted, as I normally get when God has used me, and things are looking good. After class I run into a good friend of mine and for all the joy that she had in the morning she got sideswiped by a wrecking ball, eighteen-wheeler, and the Titanic in one blow. Good day to bad day.
On the other hand I can remember many a bad day that turned out for good. In college the youth group was putting on a large scale outreach event: 130ish kids planned to show up, 4 inflatable games, BBQ, music, etc etc. I was in charge of food and BBQ, cause I’m like that. So I trade out my 2 door sports car for a 2 door truck to move all the food, I am at Costco by the time they open, and load up around $200 worth of food in to the back of my buddies truck, by myself. Go to drive the food to the church and the truck doesn’t start. The engine doesn’t even try to turn over. So I go get my car (same parking lot) and try to jump his car, no luck.
$200 of food + broken truck = not cool.
I start making phone calls looking for another truck and help moving the stuff. I need another truck because the BBQ we are going to use looks like someone cut a metal barrel in half, welded a frame around both ends and then put a grill on the top. Very cool, needs a truck to move it. By this time I have gotten over panic mode and am really just starting to enjoy and see every single irony that was happening. Quite literally I was missing every singly light, I had to drive behind every slow driver that was passing another slow driver who was passing a semi, the list goes on.
4pm rolls around and I finally have everything set up, fire started and kids should start to show up around 5ish. I was supposed to have precooked the burgers and have been done cooking around noon - 1ish. Band practice is done and the inflato-games are being delivered. Music and message yields about 40 kids coming up to accept or rededicate themselves to Christ.
There is no such thing as a good day or a bad day, not until it is over at least. But rather moments and chances for God to use our gifts, abilities, and our time for his glory. How we react to the trials in our lives builds our character and shows those around us what type of person we are. If my cynical, sarcastic, depressed mood had kicked in on that day there may not have been as many who would have come up to accept Christ. The attitude that we show affects those around us, even if we don’t realize it.
9:30 pm
It was a good day, I'm tired, packed, and I think I'm going to have another fun day tomorrow.
Monday, May 22, 2006
Introduction/Worship
The funniest thing about attending seminary is that only now am I being tested in what I believe. Granted I have had no Systematic Theology classes or church history to build a foundation on, but at the same time I have even less time to truly sit down and consider the whirlwind that has been the past two months. I’ll get to that another day.
What is worship? Worship is normally accompanied by the word ‘praise,’ but is it limited to just that. I have been told on more than a couple of occasions that I am a ‘talented’ worship leader, most of the time it is shortly after leading worship for Seminary Chapel or on a Sunday morning when, in my opinion, everything ‘came together.’ Yet for all the flash and spiffy things that happen during worship it means nothing to me if there is not an encounter with God.
This morning I led worship in chapel for the entire time period that we had. Afterwards I received high fives from about 5 people and nods of approval from others. I knew that it had been a time of sincere worship (mostly due to the fact I was exhausted) and that joy and peace had come down and rested upon those that needed it.
For all of these things I do not know if I could trade places with anyone worshiping in the chairs and find the same joy that I do when I lead. When Matt Redman wrote the song The Heart of Worship it was not just a normal songwriting experience. A year earlier he was at the top of his field and was beginning the well-known Soul Survivor movement in Europe somewhere (I think it is more in England). The head pastor commented that most of the church was too addicted to the music and banned music and singing from the church for a year. ‘Worship’ took on a whole new meaning where there was time of testimony, speaking, drama, prayer, and silence. At the end they truly had discovered the heart of worship.
On such a small scale how does one rediscover the true meaning of worship? A term that has risen out of the same Soul Survivor group is that of ‘Lead Worshiper’ as a replacement for worship leader. The more I lead the more I realize that this is true. One cannot evoke emotions in others through forcing it upon them, but rather if one leads sincerely others will follow. “Come follow me, and I will make you fishers of men.” In some respect those who are worship leaders have missed out on what it means to worship in an effort to focus on getting others to go where they themselves do not tarry.
If you ask me to lead worship, I will show you what I do when I worship in my own house. Should you say I did a good job, you will find that I am as big a dork as the next person, and that my guitar skills are not amazing. Should you tell me that ‘I’ inspired you, I will tell you that I am simply a servant and child of God and that I have no power of my own, it is Christ who strengthens me.
What is worship? Worship is normally accompanied by the word ‘praise,’ but is it limited to just that. I have been told on more than a couple of occasions that I am a ‘talented’ worship leader, most of the time it is shortly after leading worship for Seminary Chapel or on a Sunday morning when, in my opinion, everything ‘came together.’ Yet for all the flash and spiffy things that happen during worship it means nothing to me if there is not an encounter with God.
This morning I led worship in chapel for the entire time period that we had. Afterwards I received high fives from about 5 people and nods of approval from others. I knew that it had been a time of sincere worship (mostly due to the fact I was exhausted) and that joy and peace had come down and rested upon those that needed it.
For all of these things I do not know if I could trade places with anyone worshiping in the chairs and find the same joy that I do when I lead. When Matt Redman wrote the song The Heart of Worship it was not just a normal songwriting experience. A year earlier he was at the top of his field and was beginning the well-known Soul Survivor movement in Europe somewhere (I think it is more in England). The head pastor commented that most of the church was too addicted to the music and banned music and singing from the church for a year. ‘Worship’ took on a whole new meaning where there was time of testimony, speaking, drama, prayer, and silence. At the end they truly had discovered the heart of worship.
On such a small scale how does one rediscover the true meaning of worship? A term that has risen out of the same Soul Survivor group is that of ‘Lead Worshiper’ as a replacement for worship leader. The more I lead the more I realize that this is true. One cannot evoke emotions in others through forcing it upon them, but rather if one leads sincerely others will follow. “Come follow me, and I will make you fishers of men.” In some respect those who are worship leaders have missed out on what it means to worship in an effort to focus on getting others to go where they themselves do not tarry.
If you ask me to lead worship, I will show you what I do when I worship in my own house. Should you say I did a good job, you will find that I am as big a dork as the next person, and that my guitar skills are not amazing. Should you tell me that ‘I’ inspired you, I will tell you that I am simply a servant and child of God and that I have no power of my own, it is Christ who strengthens me.
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