Decompression

Seminary is amazing, but there are times when there is no choice but to react and not think about some of the things that are being taught in class. Nor are you given time to fully stop and consider self-belief in some of the topics brought up. So here I am with about 2 weeks to consider my last quarter/year of seminary and think about some of my personal beliefs on each of the topics. These are boring and uninteresting to common readers, or at least they bore me.

Yet I am sitting typing this, waiting to go out to dinner with my Arroyo Grande friends for all you can eat pizza, I am turned back to a simple cross that is around my neck and what it means. It is odd to think that it was not a month ago I was in Texas at Cursillo, and I had a whole post on the sudden shock of going back into the real world, and not much changed about my life. With the sudden dunking of papers, finals, midterms, third declension of Greek nouns all looming over my head, I was just able to scrape by to Thanksgiving, and then crawl my way through finals week and into Christmas break. I have only one regret about Cursillo: That I did not go out and stand in the Texas Thunderstorm, despite every instinct to do so.

So now I am at my parents house and have just been listening in on some of the things that my Dad has commented about being in ministry. About problems, about congregations, about governing Presbyterian bodies. He is getting close to 20 years at the same church with is a statement of commitment to his goals, but being in Seminary has shown me many things that have just gone wrong in churches. The question hasn’t come down to ‘why are there problems?’ but has become more along the lines of ‘which problems do you want to deal with?’ Slowly I am beginning to see how each church is a living breathing thing that has a personality (or multiple) that needs help in more way than one.

So here I stand with this understanding of agape love: a love that loves until the object of the love gives in. Looking back at the ‘work force’ that I am going into, I wonder how I could ever give up on someone. I look back and can see that I wasn’t able to help out everyone, but to give up on someone who had invested time in? My little brain cannot compute that equation. Maybe it is that I am tired at the time of writing this, but I know I am able to remember my failures more so than my successes. Yet when it comes to this I can only see the faces of the kids who I ‘know’ were affected by my presence and interaction.

Sometime later …

Back in Pasadena and reading this over again. Not much has changed, and I don’t have any answers to the questions, or worse the answer only produces more questions. I have finished one year of schooling, and have 2 more to go. With school starting on Wednesday (for me, I have no Tuesday class this quarter) I'm looking ahead with the question of: will I have time to ponder all of my questions? Wondering where I might be in two years is a little ambitious, maybe just three months out is far enough.

Merry Christmas

Sometimes others have better words than I do. Today is such a case.



And the first time that you opened your eyes, did you realize that you would be my savior?
And the first breath that left your lips, did you know that it would change this world forever?
And I, I celebrate the day
That you were born to die
So I could one day pray for you to save my life
Pray for you to save my life

- I Celebrate the Day, Relient K

Christmas Nostalgia

Around Christmas time I get nostalgic for some very specific memories. One of them is hunting up a copy of National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation if only for the sledding scene. With the invention of YouTube I have found a pair of hi-larious claymations from my younger years. I found the whole thing in a Three Part Series. But there are two classic pieces that are here now for your viewing pleasure:

Angels we Have Heard on High (No Penguins were harmed in it's making):


And - We Three Kings:

Post finals wrap up

Today is Saturday. Today is the first ‘official’ day of Christmas break. Today is the first day of me being a second year at Fuller.

SHORTEST

YEAR

EVER!

Since school is out that means I get to return to one of my joys in life: Running like a crazy man after a Frisbee. This is sometimes called therapy for me, if only because any frustrations are run out on the field and put out in a friendly game of who can catch the flying disk. For those in the audience who are wondering: ‘Frisbee, therapeutic … not quite sure I follow.’ While yes it normally wipes me out for the rest of the day, It allows me to just enjoy a day of doing little to no work. While I had intended to clean my apartment, prepare some food so I could make fried rice later, and go out to replace my now empty supply of cream soda. Instead I watched a movie, played a little guitar and still might go out for the cream soda. Priorities people … gotta have ‘em.

I have a really boring Christmas break coming up. I mean I’m going to go home, do my favorite vacation activity (as little as possible), and then come back to Pasadena. I will get to see the family and talk to my home church but for the most part it should be a nice week of relaxing and enjoying the rest. I do have a week to watch Season 4, courtesy of Blockbuster. If I don’t emerge from my apartment for 2 days, send for help.

It is a little odd to think that I am 1/3 done with my seminary career, but it is true. I can no longer claim ignorance in the face of questions of how things were done the year before. Not that I won’t try, but still it is sometimes nice to play dumb. Either way it is the first time that I have enjoyed school. It is weird to have professors walk in and say that teaching doesn’t feel like work, from what I have seen I believe it though. There is not an all campus aura of stress, and struggle to try to figure things out. I sometimes wonder if I am make-believe land where life is perfect and nothing is ever wrong.

Well maybe not … A buddy of mine just had his first son. One of the classes we shared this quarter was patristic theology covering everything from post-apostles up till about Augustine in the early 400s. We talked about baptism and opinions. While I’m not really in the mood to rant it has brought up an interesting consideration. While it is not limited to this one topic I have been challenged in areas where I don’t know the answers. For all my fear of systematic theology, I am beginning to wonder if I should start taking some.

Sunday:
Season 4 - 4 disks down, 2 to go. I call 24 my drug of choice, I’ll be admitting myself to rehab Monday night.

A Small Problem

I have become a Latte snob ... of the Vanilla persuasion. I have spent mornings driving down Lake to get one at Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf rather than walk to the closest coffee bar. I feel like less of a person. I will be seeking help after finals.