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Faith, Hope, and Love

Every now and again I get all serious about navigating the deep dark places of my own soul. Sometimes I’ll invite friends on the journey but most of the time this is a solo travel. I’ve been doing a little navigating recently and most of it has been centered around a desire to love specific people in my life that are just easier to be angry with sometimes. A few days ago I finally looked in the mirror and asked myself ‘why are you angry?’ I still don’t have a good answer.

If you look through a few of my recent blogs that are not just random spouting of gibberish and sarcasm, there is a deep current of questioning going on (starting around April). If you know my personal life, you know probably about half of the situations that I’ve been working through. Through this time I have had pretty much a consistent sense of faith, even developing a line to get me through most of the difficult times: ‘Cynicism, may it never screw up our faith.’ Most of this cynicism stems from a strong belief in Murphy’s Law, but I think what has happened recently is more that I have lost hope in some of the situations, and it was the hope that counteracted the cynicism.

Now in some situations hope has been restored, but it is in those places where doesn’t resurface that I find difficulty in working through. It is difficult to love, to care, and at times to even have a conversation. I want so very deeply to have hope, and I think I have been subconsciously searching for it since April, and only now can I explain what I’ve been looking for.

It isn’t so much that I want hope more than love, but rather I find I am only able to love when hope is there to counter cynicism. Faith doesn’t help there as I link faith to individual relationship with God. Hope might be better stated as faith or trust in a human person much like faith is in God (or at the very least a bad analogy). This gets all messy with the final line of 1Cor. 13: “Now these three remain; Faith, Hope, and Love, but the greatest of these is Love.” And I ask myself … ‘On this earth can you love a person without the faith or hope?’

If I’m honest with myself, I’m not sure I can.

'Can you have any one with one of the others missing?'

I dunno … and I wish I had an answer.

Back to normal

I have peace again.

Been that way for about three or four weeks now, and life has just been good. This will be kinda conglomeration of two partially done blogs that make perfect sense in my head, but I need to cut some stuff out.

First off to all the graduates and pseudo-graduates (I say that because some of you have to take summer classes … close but not quite. And yea I know I’m taking a Fall quarter but your still not done either so neyah). You inspire us all simply by showing us that there is a light at the end of the tunnel, although some is only a blip of light before there is that tunnel known as ‘job hunting’.

Good news from the Minstrel’s household, nothing I can share yet, but the whole family is really excited. I’ll share more after information is made ‘public’. For reference it is really hard for me to keep it in thus it is making a slight ‘taunting’ here. I went home for Dad’s day and we did some early family celebrating by playing lots of bridge (I played a 5 hearts hand that should have been a small slam, but ‘they’ were throwing out preempt bids that were screwing with everything.)

Now for the random tidbits...

Random thought of the moment: My friend Becca ROCKS. She just does; she may never read this … but she does.

The more I read Don Miller the more I really like him and the honesty with which he writes.

The spiritual gift of discernment is a blessing that feels like a curse sometimes. The curse is figuring out how to say what you know in love.

I might go up to Spirit West Coast this summer, I think the youth group back home has a few spare tickets if anyone is interested (Wed July 30th - Sun Aug 2).

And Finally:
This made sense when I wrote it … well I think it did.

There is a story to be told.
It isn’t mine and it may be yours.
For life is lived in the other with those around.
A balance of love and hate, now and again there is a twist of fate.
Where one might find joy the other will find pain.
Though the scales have fallen off, and the wounds have healed
There is a mark that reveals,
It shows the way forward by looking at the past.
Roads that have converged and divided.
Sometimes the road is traveled alone,
At others we move slowly along the thoroughfare,
Taking our time with those around.
We realize that there isn’t such a thing as ‘normal’
But rather just that which is.
And the roads we travel, whether alone or together, are the ones we choose.
I travel the path alone to meet myself;
I travel the path together to make sure I’m not lost.
Where we go from here is not so much about the company we wish to keep
But the question of which we need more: To lose ourselves or be found.
We go out seeking God
Yet God has always walked beside us in the busy thoroughfare;
We have just not seen it.
So to the roads we travel with wonder and reflection;
To the roads that we travel laughing and skipping.
May we travel together as long as God allows,
And meet again on the far side of the roads that part.

Random Musings

Had lunch w/ Mischievous B this afternoon. I just finished finals, she had slept in till 11:15.

We digressed to the following:

B: There is no such thing as the perfect boyfriend. Well Jesus would be the perfect boyfriend if he wasn't all transparent (tries to hug the air)

A: Jesus would be the best boyfriend if he wasn't interested in everyone else.

Point to A.