Confessions of a Seminary Student

Ok a slight confession, well maybe two:

1) Most of the time I have no idea what I am talking about:
One of the things that was made abundantly clear to me this quarter is that I am here by God’s grace, because I just don’t think like an academic theologian most of the time. I have found that my beliefs really are more of a cloud than well thought out and cemented into my brain and life. Example: In one of my classes we had to write a paper on Calvin and predestination. While I wrote it myself a friend of mine had a long conversation about the sovereignty of God and how that applies to her beliefs, which began to make me wonder about mine. What I have realized is that growing up I never had a confirmation class where I was taught all these things within the context of the church, despite being a PK (Pastor’s Kid). Now I want to sort this out but the reality of that situation was that the paper was due not 8 hours from that conversation … inopportune? I think so. Now that Spring break is here I have been able to look back and consider some of those things as I begin to put shape to the beliefs that are this cloud in my head.

2) I have a terminal case of Foot-in-Mouth Disease:
What this really means is that my brain fails to engage with the words that come out of my mouth. What results are some poorly timed sharp words that really never should have left my mouth. Most of the time no good comes from it, but hindsight is always 20/20 and some good has. I have learned two things:

The first is how to deal with conflict and to put my self, pride, ego, stupidity on the side and reach a point of sincere apology, and then to work from there. For all the shoe leather that I have tasted over the last year or so, I don’t feel as if I hold the label of being a jerk, but rather that I have jerk like moments.

The second is that I have been fine-tuning my ‘filter.’ Or in some cases I have just engaged my brain, as that is all that is needed. Some of the more delicate conversations I have learned to approach from a safe angle rather than cannonball into the shallow end.

What is really fun is when the two problems I have get together. This is commonly called ‘digging one’s self into a hole.’ When this situation occurs I normally dig with a really big shovel or small explosives, whichever is handy at the moment. Either way those that I have managed to be a jerk to have returned with grace that is beyond what is due, and for that I am thankful. For the friendship, and for the patience to deal with me.

-- Non-serious post coming later when I either feel in the mood, or am on cold medicine, or when my head doesn’t feel like it is 10 pounds heavier.