I Wanna get off the Ride Now

It is the first week of classes and I’m already spent; Physically, Mentally, Emotionally. Classes are, at best, what seem like mundane distractions. It isn’t so much that I don’t like them, but I “don’t have the emotional bandwidth” to deal with them (thanks Starla). About 25% of my iTunes library is off limits for one reason or another, and I repeat the axiom laid out by Jeff Bjork: ‘Enough: Enough is what God gives you.’

I’m not going to go into the full details but I am more broken now than I think I have ever been in my entire life. Questions that have no answers keep me up at night or wake me up every 2 hrs; either that or answers that only provide more questions.

On the good side of things I have never felt more like a prophet than I do now, the irony being that the prophecy would affect me directly. About 2 months ago I got up in front of chapel to reflect about community in front of the Presbyterian community. What was about a 5 min off the top of my head reflection is summed up along the lines of …

This community is a group of people, we are not a structure of chapel or the structure of church, but rather we are a church of broken, stupid, foolish, sinful people (of which I think I lead some of the charge); but in that we have Christ and are commanded to be Christ-like to others. Seminary will chew you up and spit you out faster and more efficiently than the working world. It is only in the friendships and relationships that are developed here that you can survive. It is only in these relationships that you will learn how to be a pastor.

Never have I been so thankful for the friendships that I have here at Seminary. Some that have never experienced strife, others that were forged through conflict, and some that just fell into my lap out of nowhere. While I want to get off the ride, my friends have chosen to get on the ride with me and help me through the hard times.

Thank you.