We blasted the control pannel for the bridge

So I have a clear head about some stuff and feel like I need to make a calm statement in response to my ‘uppity’ statement regarding Holy Spirit things.

A little background … I have no doubt that the gifts of the Holy Spirit work today. I have no doubt that I have a couple, and I’m man enough to admit that I get them wrong sometimes. Secondly, I process things very slowly. Like tell me a thinking joke and I’ll get it two days later and just bust out laughing for no reason … (Awkward Turtle). The other part of this comes from a rather odd definition of the term ‘Faith’ as defined by one of my systematic theology professors (I think) … ‘Faith is not what you believe, but what you cannot deny.’ I cannot deny some of the things that I have seen, done, or heard of. I cannot deny that people are stupid at times as well; nor can I deny that we get it wrong sometimes. So I end up somewhere in the idea that Anslem stated: “Faith seeking Understanding.”

I guess where I end up is a disconnect with the basic statement of needing a ‘quantity of faith’ for the Holy Spirit to work, without also stating the fact that God is the source of faith giving (at least in my theological world), and is there a statement that would make more sense that combines the Faith and Sovereignty issue. And this is the issue that I’m trying to figure out, it feels like there should be a bridge between the two. I can see some of it, but it falls in the realm of the ‘so-and-so died for a reason’ which is neither comforting or should EVER be said to someone.

I find the bible a little fuzzy on this issue as well. In some cases there are Roman soldiers who come up for the sake of a servant and ask for healing without needing Christ to come, and at the same time you have the opposite end where the Disciples can’t heal a boy and Christ points to a lack of faith. And while these are just points on a spectrum it seems like there is always a connect of points on one side or the other between faith or lack of faith. While I would like to try to describe this as an ‘on-or-off’ situation I don’t think that it is that simple. While most of the time there are the sudden and immediate responses, there are those things that take a little longer to get answer from. That’s why I like the bridge analogy rather than the switch.

I guess I’m getting this picture of like a ropes course team-building thing. Where you have a group of people that are trying to do things together, but each individual person still has to do their own part. And there is the illusion of fear with heights and a quick what if cycle that leads towards the worst-case scenario. An individual still has to get across to the other side. The strange thing is that there is encouragement from both sides. Those who have gone before, who get it and who are beckoning you towards them; and those behind you, watching your every step, not sure if they want you to fall or to succeed.

I know that success would be the best case, but failing might be another worthwhile option. In failure there is a need to regroup and refocus. I kinda like failure if only in the sense that in failure faith is what has to carry a person. It means that a person dared to do what others considered foolish and ill advised. But they tried to get across, and got saved by the equipment holding them up. Then we figure out what went wrong, and we succeed or fail at that.

I’m digressing and trying to work my way back, but there is a place where God is involved somewhere, but I just can quite figure out how say it or how it works with my limited vocabulary. Whilst I still have faith and still acknowledge all the things that the Holy Spirit does, logical and sometimes crazy, I wish I had words to better verbalize or to figure out where people are coming from. I feel like I’ve already crossed the bridge, but I’m looking back to try to figure out how it stands up, and how in the world I got across. Just a little understanding.


Even when the rain comes/Even when the flood starts rising
Even when the storm comes/I am washed by the water