A Small Problem

I have become a Latte snob ... of the Vanilla persuasion. I have spent mornings driving down Lake to get one at Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf rather than walk to the closest coffee bar. I feel like less of a person. I will be seeking help after finals.

Pre-Finals Brain Dump

So where do we start? I think in New Mexico: A flash presentation of Weird Al’s Albuquerque. Set aside about 10 min for random stupidity.

Casino Royale
It is always nice to be driving home for thanksgiving and having your mom call and say the following words: “So sushi and the new James Bond movie … I’m buying” Yes please! So after getting my healthy dose of wasabi we go to see the new James Bond. A very different James Bond.

He is just mean … I dunno if it is a director’s choice or a progression in film making but normally James Bond movies are pretty ‘subtle’ in the progression of violence and blood. This is not. I will say that the movie is never over till the credits role (and they should have put in about 15 more minutes) The humor is not the normal dry, but has some very nice sarcastic comments and play on words.

The best scene is the first one after the credits, and I’m pretty sure they did it without wires and the scene is just a little insane.

Thanksgiving
I love this holiday. First off is the nice 2 days off of school, but the best thing about it is the food. My family normally has a group of about 15ish people over every year with homemade everything. First thing in the oven are the blueberry muffins, the true sign of the holidays around my parent’s house. Right around 2ish the house starts to smell good. This is important to me since I can smell good BBQ from about a block away including what is on the grill. Sometimes I can have a two-block radius if I am hungry, but that’s another topic of discussion. This is one of those days where it is required that you eat thirds and fourths, followed by desert.

The other love from home was turning on my parent’s fireplace. My parents have tile floor which gets really hot in the sun, and really cold at night. I must be becoming wimp (or getting a cold) because my body has been cold at home where the temp has been about 20 Degrees colder than ‘summer’ in LA. I might have to go put some sweat pants on. Something about a fireplace signals the holidays and the changing seasons where nature doesn’t react to the change of seasons. We also pulled down the 2 car loads of Christmas stuff for my mom to decorate our house.

Being Thankful:
I tried to be clever and do the whole A-Z thing, but I found out I’m not that clever. Aside from family I found some things that were things that have snuck up on me in the past year or so of Seminary.

Guitar
Something about sitting down on my couch when my brain is full of stuff and just playing music is so very comforting. Many times God will lead me to songs that echo where I am and draw me closer to him.

And Bass Guitar
Quote of the week goes to Becca: “You just look happier playing bass.”
I love playing bass but it is very hard to lead worship on a bass. Some of it is that I am able to cut loose a little more and articulate some things better on bass than on a guitar. It is kinda hard to put into words, but there is something about playing my bass that is fun, either that or it brings out my goofball persona.

Tightening the Screws
I am sarcastic from time to time … ok most of the time, but one of the things that has been amazing to watch is how God has been using Seminary to really turn the pressure up on me to return to a life seeking him. The combination of theology and personal conduct make for a very stressful life, but in the end I come to a better understanding of my actions and myself.

Mountain high to valley low

So I got back from Cursillo (outside of Huston Texas) almost a week ago, I’m still not sure what happened there or what I’m doing back in California. If (a very big if) Cursillo could be summed up I would do as such: Cursillo redefines love. Three words don’t do Cursillo justice so allow me to elaborate, expand, and unpack (my suitcase) for a moment.

In every form of love there is an understanding of the limits of love (with the exception of Christ’s) or at the very least a fear that love will not always be faithful. This is seen in the world around us as people are looking for some measure of love but find it in the worst places for the wrong reasons. Cursillo is three full days involving 24 hours each where Christ’s love is expressed, encountered, and cannot be avoided; and trying to resist only makes it worse. For perspective Cursillo is like filling shot glasses with a fire hose on full, and Cursillo doesn’t let you empty the glass at all. The result is that you have no choice but to give in and switch up to the swimming pool with the waterslide, and diving board and then have a cannonball contest in an attempt to empty the pool to keep up with the inflow. 72 hours of this, with surprises along the way effectively function as flash floods in filling up the pool.

You break, everyone does at some point. I broke, took less than 24 hrs too, and I’m very stubborn.

But enough about Seattle … Normally after something like a Cursillo weekend or camp weekend there is a time of decompressing that needs to happen. Decompression needs to happen at a slow rate or else bad things happen. Healthy Example: Your ears pop as you go up and down in elevation to rectify pressure. Unhealthy Example: Space shuttle loses compression. I could go in to details but Hollywood has done a few good examples, but that experience is the opposite of fun and is not recommended. I didn’t get this time, and got thrown right back into the middle of life. I can remember having a conversation about how do we as post-Cursillo people (who have the temporary thinking capability of mush) go back into the world when the world isn’t on the same page but more like in a different book in a different library. I’m still not sure I know, well I know the opportunities and some I intend to do. However, life was waiting for me on the trip home from Texas, with it’s own needs time involvement and challenges; All of them demanding.

So what did I do? Our transportation to the Huston airport (who was a staff member of Cursillo) gave me a simple wooden cross, on a simple leather band. I’m not much of a jewelry guy, nor do I like broadcasting that I am a Christian by use of bumper stickers, mostly because I don’t always represent my beliefs well; yet this cross stays around my neck. Since it is new I am very aware of it, and when I put on my school bag I can feel it, I can feel the edges and corners when I put pressure on it. It is very very tangible in reminding me of what I should represent, and what my actions should be. It has variable weight depending on my situation where it might just hang and then there are times when it weighs heavy and I can feel it against my body.

My life right now is in a slow motion upheaval. Everything is already up in the air it is just a matter of where things are going to fall, and if they are going to break, bounce up again, or come to rest. In these times I look for constants, like finding joy in worship, and sometimes constants present themselves in the form of a simple cross around a neck. Sometimes that variable weight is very comforting.

As the world wakes up

It is still dark and my eyelids don’t want to open, but I’m stilling here at a cabin by lake arrowhead at 6am watching the world wake up. Darkness fights to keep its hold on the world as the edge of my world begins to glow. Slowly darkness is pulled away and shapes and objects are visible. Slowly God turns up the color in the world with the dead leaves that turn in this pine forest. It takes a bit longer but slow the green comes in, and even the white on the patio is dull. It is still dark and the horizon is still just shape and dark. The sky has turned grey as it begins to get some of it’s blue. The edge of the world is white with a tint of orange.

Slowly the world begins to warm. In undergrad I learned that breezes are caused by sudden temperature changes to the ground. So at sunrise and sunset the world warms or cools and a breeze will pass over the land trying to even out temperatures as the ground heats the air, or begins to become cooler than the air around it. Heat flows towards cool. This still life of progressive color begins to dance, birds cry outside for food.

The far ridgeline begins to take on some color as the greens near me begin to look like the life that they stand for.

The trees begin to get nervous in their dance as the guest of honor progresses slowly up the far ridge. The finale, when darkness is no more, when life begins to flow, when nothing is hidden, and everything is a peace. But it isn’t time yet; there is still some waiting to be done. So I wait …

The parade begins to move in full motion as the sun rises on the far ridge, judging from the light it looks like I am in the wrong place to see it crest and blind me. Soon the sounds of the rest of the house begin to move, and the world outside goes on with the parade that lasts until the sun sets.

Nov 4th near Arrowhead Lake

Good Idea. Bad Idea.

First I would like to thank Jenn Moore for indirectly reminding me of one of my great childhood joys. On evening when I needed to ask her something I saw her away message of “Goodnight moon” which triggered the memory one of my favorite after school cartoons … Animaniacs. The trigger was directed around a remake of that line into “Nighty night toon.” This series has given me much joy in remaking a variety of already funny jokes even funnier. I’m not sure why but falling anvils are funny, and I have not seen that level of comedic writing in quite some time.

So ….

Good Idea: Driving home after you go to church.
Bad Idea: Driving home after you go to a 3 hour evening concert at church.

I went home (again) to play in the annual fraternity flag football tourney on the blistering sandbar of Pismo Beach. (Say that last like a la Chris Burmen and it will make sense) My intention was to play football Saturday, go to church on Sunday and then drive home to recover. I found out that there was a spare ticket (or two) and could think of about any number of reasons to NOT go to the concert.

[The concert in question involved 4 bands: Last Tuesday (as opposed to Late Tuesday), John Ruben, Sanctus Real, and Superchic[k]. The last two are on my normal rotation of music listening, the second I have heard of but not investigated, and the first I had only heard of.]

Needless to say (well maybe it does) I really didn’t care about my physical and mental well-being … So I went to church again. Hey it still fell in my line of planning of going home after church … well minus the recover part.

I have no regrets about going to the concert, other than the insanity that I demonstrated this morning, and might be having right now, but I might need a third opinion since the first two are my own.

Shock and Awe

So I went home this weekend to work for my mom and support my Seminary habit. While I have never seen the Disneyland fireworks extravaganza, I have seen fireworks. The drive home put them to shame. I was very thankful for prayer right before driving home. I hadn’t even gotten to the 101/405 interchange before seeing two accidents and hitting traffic. Not my favorite way to start a trip. Round about Santa Barbara the show began.

Most of the time my drives home are moments of reflection, and contemplation, or arguing. I had much to contemplate on the drive home but it kinda got pushed to the side. God was doing some late night artwork in the form of an electrical storm. Lightning alone is somewhat intimidating; it is bright, scary, and can kill you. Yet God was at work lighting up the sky with stroke after stroke after magnificent stroke.

Traveling over Cachuma Pass (shortcut that I take that goes up into the mountains above Santa Barbara) I had the storm displayed before me. Bending arcs, crawling arcs, Arcs that would strike, and then another would 1 second later, but the sky where the first strike was still black because your eyes were still temporarily blind. It wasn’t raining either, and I could still see the stars in the sky. Now and again lightning would arc but not be visible and polarize a white background with black clouds in front. Red tinted strikes, blue tinted strikes. Strikes that would synchronize with the music I was playing.

The teaching part came in 3 different strikes (no pun intended). The first was the fact that I had Tomlin’s Indescribable playing at one point and understood maybe for the first time the truth of that song. The second was a concept of God’s creation from my Pentateuch class and the ‘speaking’ light into darkness. Granted I had headlights, and orange dials showing some light as well as random lights from small towns, but they were pale in comparison. There is only one thing that I know of in human creation that can light up the sky like lightning: It ended one war, was the cause of another that was more of a race, and is in the news on the other side of the ocean. The last part came when I reached Santa Maria and the storm was overhead getting more of the ‘Awe’ part of the storm. Having the world go from dark to daylight to dark again is a little startling, if not creepy. I was reminded of many of the first sayings of angels who appear to people: ‘Do not fear’ when in a more direct meaning awe is a fearful reverence.

I normally get reminders when I have forgotten something…

Climbing out From Under the Pile

Oh … I’m sorry, have you been looking here for me? I’ve been a little busy and things are kinda a mess around here. But I’ll try to catch you up to speed. The last two weeks have been a little nutty and if I seem to be a few screws short that is because they fell off somewhere along the way.

Orientation Week
I got a job working on-call for ATC at Fuller (Audio/Video tech for the campus) I worked three larger events and got to use some random fun stuff that they have. (rear projector screens are interesting) I got to play with the sound gear at First Cong. as well as see what goes into a weekly Travis chapel service when my first job was doing sound for the staff/faculty chapel.

The more and more I hear Dr. Mouw speak the more and more I like him and what he stands for. The man has stories and life experiences that are almost surreal in the grand scheme of things. The man has been everywhere, done more than a few things that are worthy of note, is in conversation with more people than I would be able to count, and at the same time has a sound and firm understanding in his faith. The man has a theology centered on the third verse of hymns, but more than anything he is a storyteller; something I aspire to be in my ministry.

First week o’ School
Classes are going to be a wonderful experience this quarter. I have good friends in every class that I am in, as well as getting to know a few new students in Church history. Greek is going to be enjoyable and difficult at the same time. Church history is going to be 1 part history, 1 part theology, and 1 part comedy, season with doughnuts, simmer at medium heat till ready. Pentateuch is going to be a little slower, but I think as we get moving it will start to interest me more as we get to the narrative sections. Foundations: I’m still slightly bitter about this class for other reasons, but in the end I think it will be a good time. I have a group of people that I know all but two of them through other relations.

Then there was the BBQ
Much fun was had, I got the hard question of “If you were able to take over a character in a movie, who would you be?” While I answered Han Solo, the real answer is Malcolm Reynolds from Serenity. Some of you are sick of my Serenity shtick; what you have to know is that you’re just going to have to deal with it. I’m not sure anyone else at the BBQ would have known who he was.

I can educate you on Serenity, but expect that it will take up at least 2 hours for movie watching for the basic course, and if you want to see more, then plan on a weekly event. Enrolment is free, and you get 4 units that will not transfer or apply to any degree program other than that of being a nerd.

What did we learn? (plays veggie tales lesson music)
And so what we have learned applies to our lives today, and God has a lot to say in His Book.

Yes, I did Google these words, and yes I'm posting them here.

You see, we know that God's Word is for everyone; and now that our song is done, we'll take a look.

I’m writing this at the end of the weekend, I have had a nap each day as the physical tiredness of the week finally caught up to me. They were two good weeks, and more than anything I had to trust in God to do things that I could not do. I had many things that I had expected to do taken away from me. Looking back it was a good thing, not only for me but also for others who helped pick up the things I had to give up. I say that I am good at delegating things, but I think I have a lot to improve on. I know I have a stubborn button in me that makes walking across hot tar look easy in comparison to trying to overcome my stubbornness.

Something that I heard recently was on the subject of asking for help. It was a discussion on how to help the homeless. But I think the principle stretches beyond that. The idea is that asking for help makes you weaker and allows the other person to have confidence in their abilities. I don't ask for help all that often, and normally when I do, I'm so far in over my head that my weakness ends up affecting other things. The bible alludes to many situations of being strong in faith, but in most of the day-to-day things, God asks us to rely on him rather than ourselves; a point that I am only beginning to understand as I write these words. These words should shuffle around in my head for this week.

Afterthoughts:
New Movies:
Kiss, Kiss, Bang, Bang - FUNNY!!! Mystery flick
Ice Harvest - Another Mystery flick - So So

New Music:
Jars of Clay - Good Monsters: I can’t get enough of their lyrics, I need to give the slower half of the album another chance, but I have one song that I can keep playing on repeat both for the truth of the words and the music behind it.
Evanescence: New Album on Oct 3rd, going to run to Target and pick it up before class.