The Punching Bag

I’m not sure what it is and I think I have many friends who would verify this: but for some reason I have a nice big bull’s-eye on my chest for attracting problems. Not like your run of the mill problems, but the like … requires more than 1 week to fix type of problems. Things not included in this category:
- 10 page papers
- Car repair
- Computer repair
- Anything that can be solved by a visit to ‘theological beverage’-house
- Cleaning my apartment
- Greek
- Curing insomnia
- Mono

Now … how do I put this … I wasn’t ‘sideswiped by a wrecking ball, eighteen-wheeler, and the Titanic in one blow,’ but more like somewhere in between the eighteen-wheeler and Titanic. But this isn’t a tale about how cruddy my life is but a moment of clarity and rejoicing.

For all my times of trials they have always led up to something wonderful that God will do.
For all my times of trials I have found that my friends have stood by me, even when I was the problem.
For all my times of trials it has never been my own doing, but God’s.
For all my times of trials ... I’m still here and God still uses me.

I think the last one is what is in my mind now, and just how cool that is. I have comfort in that he has not given me something that will cause me to break, just bend a bit. I’m not asking for more trials, but I am ready to face the ones that come my way.

Something's wrong ...

Ralph's has discontinued IBC Cream Soda on it's shelves in its Lake Ave., Pasadena store ... One man riot ensues.

New School Year for the Minstrel

So ummm … yea: First week of school and Welcome Week, and some small BBQ that I’m in charge of planning. It piles up a bit. Anywho I’m not sure where this will go (serious or goofy) so I wish you good luck.

I am excited to be back in classes. I’m a little worn out from this week, but I was expecting to be. It has been fun seeing the campus alive with energy and movement as a bunch of first years gather on campus; each bringing a new story, new worries, new energy, and new anxieties. All of this energy is without the understanding of just how good Fuller is, and when they talk about their classes they only get more excited. Very cool to see. I think I have helped quite a few new students that I have met over the summer and just recently in giving advice on how to approach Fuller classes, as well as my personal biases on which professors to take.

I have started my internship at Burbank Presbyterian Church in … Burbank … (duh). I’m really excited as I sit down with (Pastor) Ross and discuss ministry and the inner workings of the church he leads. He reminds me of my dad in many respects in that he has found the balance between work, family, and personal study. While I have only known him for a bit he has a wonderful sense of humor but underneath it all is an honest caring of his interns, church, and the relationships that they have with God. While this week has been a bit nutty, I am trying really really hard to not jump into the deep end, but rather take it nice and slow right now and work out the rest.

Brings me to classes: I am taking 12 units and auditing another 4 for personal enrichment/enjoyment. I am taking Ethics, Systematic Theology 2 (Christ, Salvation, Spirit), and Exegetical Methods. The audit is Foundations for Youth Ministry of which I feel compelled to do the work even though I don’t ‘have to’. I’m excited about all of these and have friends in all the classes (although slightly fewer in Methods) that are fun to just hang out with.

All in all I have a nice peace about this quarter and the workload that is involved (no final tests). I suspect that Ethics and ST2 will probably continue to stretch my personal struggles, and Foundations will be a nice balance to these as I work out what it means to ‘do’ ministry.

There are a few serious musings that I'll work through after this week, and maybe post. But for now ... this is life

I Can't Make This Stuff Up

As spoken by Fuller's President Richard Mouw during his 'musings' portion of the trustee's meeting dinner ... on grits ... theology ... and sermon examples ...

"A Roman Catholic friend of mine went to visit the south and took a look at the menu, he called the waitress over to ask what grits were. He said, 'ma'am, what's a grit?' She replied, 'Hon you don't get just one ...' The body of Christ should be like grits, all stuck together and many of us."

"Another friend of mine who I told this story to called me one day and said, 'I have a grits story for you:'

A man walks into a wafflehouse in the south and orders waffles, bacon and eggs. Waitress brings the order and it has grits all over it. The man turns to the waitress, 'Excuse me I didn't order any grits.' She replied, 'Sorry, you get 'em whether you want em or not.'

Grace is like grits ... you get it whether you want it or not ...' "

I think I'm going to have to save these for any sermons I give in southern states.

Ok time for a gamer/nerd post

First of is a an hour long keynote speech given by Wil Wheaton at Penny Arcade Expo that took place in Seattle about 2 weeks ago. Some of you will not get many of the references but there are many great comments about the state of video games. If you have no idea who Wil Wheaton is … he was Westley Crusher on Star Trek: TNG. Mild language and content warning.

The second is the keynote speech given by Steve Jobs about the new ipods. Now … I don’t need you to watch the whole thing but if you fast forward to about 58 minutes and watch the 10 min presentation given by the Starbucks representative. If you understand anything about Emerging church, so does this man … it is scary.

And finally ... music, comedy, and zombies

Heroes, Once, and A Piece of my Mind

So as part of my procrastination therapy I went out and purchased the first season of Heroes. I have only one word …

Ohmygoshthisshowissofreakingcool!

Aside from being a semi nerd this show really does have a good mix of storyline, character development, and showing off cool abilities. I think the thing I admire the most about the show is that it does have that mortality aspect that sometimes doesn’t exist. I liken it to a cross between The Incredibles and Spiderman but with more people. A couple parts are not for the squeamish and there are a couple of moments where there are some very … visual effects. In general the show has a sense of greater purpose and larger scale than one season can encompass (similar to Lost, I’ve been told). It does have all the standard superhero abilities that you come to expect: flight, regeneration, variations on telepathy, and so on … but puts them in characters that are not always able to do much with them. I also appreciate the fact that some of the more prominent characters have no powers yet are still able to make contributions.

So cool a show … which brings me to a really cool movie: Once

It is an independent movie that is from Ireland and is really one of the more beautiful love stories that I have seen in a long time. It has won two Audience Awards (one of which was at Sundance) and I highly recommend it. I could go into more detail but it really needs to be seen and talking about it doesn’t do it justice. It will probably be playing at the independent movie theaters for a while as it is just starting to come into buzz in the US.

Which brings me to a portion of my Mind

Beginning these are always dangerous and I’m not sure what is on my mind at the time. I think right now it is watching the differences between newer students and graduating/graduated students and the differences between them. I was picking up one of my neighbors from the airport and we were talking about the sociology project that could be done on Fuller’s Campus. It was interesting to figure out some of my own thoughts in broad generalizations that have their exceptions but it was interesting to consider some of the differences between the schools in mindset and age. Looking at the Psych school they have the ‘older/wiser’ aspect as most of them are PhD candidates who are paying cash for 5-6 years (in most cases) to get their degree and do counseling once they graduate. For the Intercultural Studies (Missionary) group there is one of two mindsets: I want to go into missions, or I need to know more so I can do missions better. In general I think of this group as a couple of years older and with some experience going outside of the US to do missions work. In general I find that this group of people come with a sense of purpose and a maturity and perspective that has been tempered in another country. Which brings me to the Theology Students … My guess is that about 70% of the non-doctoral students here are fresh out of undergrad and I would say that the Theology students are probably the youngest out of the three groups. I get the feeling that many of the Missions and Psych students view Theology as the misfits of the campus, but these are my ‘perceptions’ of which I have very little to base it upon, I’m a Theology student … and a closet misfit.

Here is the part that confuses me … Missions and Psych have integrated communities within their programs. These groups are called cohorts and they basically allow for outside integration of class material as well as providing a place for discussion and friendships to form not only with each other, but also with professors. Theology doesn’t and this confuses me. A Theology student could effectively do an entire M. Div (pastoral degree) without ever really engaging with fellow students, and yet these are the people who are going to go into congregations and lead a group of people towards God. As I approach the end of my 2nd year in Seminary I look at this picture and I don’t really have to say much about how upside down my head is at times (see some of my previous entries). I’m sure I’m not the only one but here is the fun part. It has been my experience that many people are very careful about who they have the deeper conversations with. I have encountered a number of people who I can only touch on the surface with about the things of life and confusion. Now I’m not saying the Missions and Psych don’t need their cohorts, I’m just wondering where ours are.

Am I far off in my assumptions or am I close enough to be scary. Also, those of you who have been having some conversation about the past post I made, I have responded in the comments if you wish to ‘counter-counter-point’

Where has the time gone?

No … I haven’t been to Saddleback yet.
No … I haven’t solved world peace, but I’m working on it.
No … I haven’t danced with the devil in the pale moonlight
No … I haven’t seen my neph-monkey since Memorial day
No … I haven’t taken over the world, but it goes along with that whole world peace thing.
No … I haven’t gotten a date. (Despite Becca’s top 10 list)
No … I haven’t misplaced my brain, … err … maybe I have
No … I haven’t figured out the meaning of life, I’m still trying to figure out my own life.
No … I haven’t considered what type of chocolate I’m on at this phase in my life

(Warning: you are now entering serious thoughts, there is no shallow end)

Now that that is out of the way, I have finished classes for summer and with two papers outstanding I’m going to take this weekend off and have some fun and contemplate some of the things that I have been putting off this past quarter. Mostly having to do with some serious theological thinking regarding church. I’m not sure I have an answer, nor do I have all the front-end research done. I think I have a very basic building block understanding of what ‘church’ is supposed to be, and the tension lies within my understanding and experience of what Reformed church is and what I have experienced within a more Charismatic setting. I have to be honest in that I’m not fully understanding of what the underlying foundation of the Charismatic tradition is. I have been reading Christ Plays in Ten Thousand Places (for fun) by Eugene Peterson … slowly … and looking at the balance between what could be seen as the spiritual gifts and what is a perversion of the gifts in the sense of where Glory is given. I’ll let ya know how the book goes.

I can remember one day during my first quarter of a friend of mine coming out of class after having just finished a John Thompson paper and saying ‘I now understand why I am Reformed, I am Reformed.’ … and thinking, ‘that is odd.’ My problem is that I know I am Reformed, in more ways than I can count, which makes me odd, yet I still struggle with this tension in the Charismatic movement. Most of this falls in the music movements that are taking place. Now I’m at the point where I have a respect for the church music forms that I have encountered. I understand the beauty of the hymns and the drive that comes from a more contemporary side of things. Here is the fun part: Looking at the majority of the worship artists, who produce music in the contemporary style, are on some level within the Charismatic understanding. One of my fellow musicians at Fuller has a strong preference of hymns over contemporary music, and has stated as much. This musician has many skills that I wish I had as a musician and I respect her choice, and on the other side of things there are entire movements (such as Indelible Grace) that serve the primary function of trying to bring hymns within the realm of guitar and ‘band’ type of settings. At this point I want to have my cake and eat it too, but the 'I want' doesn't work to well with what God wants. And thus I reach the question: is there a way to mix some of the two, to … walk the line … while still being considered ‘Reformed' ... AND still feel like God is praised before the band is.

This is my tension and struggle as I carry on through Seminary. I see it as I visit churches with a 'budget' to support music in their churches and have very charismatic leaders to support their beliefs. I'm guilty of this, giving credit to Tomlin, Crowder, and so on rather than the God who wants our praise. I blur the lines all to much even in my own life where I take compliments rather than directing them Godwards (I must be in Seminary, I'm making up words).

It isn’t so much about what I want nor is it about pleasing a congregation but finding a place where God is worshiped by everyone. If I had to pick one or the other (which is not where I feel God leading me) I would end up Reformed, but then that is what I have grown up as. Yet as I learn more and more about different church styles I find a peace surrounding most things that might prove to be difficult theological issues. Or maybe it is coming to a place where ‘I don’t know’ is an acceptable answer.

I think I have another rant that I need to flesh out too, but I'll save that for another time.

Thoughts? Comments here or in person are open. I know I have holes in there somewhere, but take the rough meaning.

Sacred, Space, and Buildings

One of the things that I have picked up on my journey through life is an appreciation of the function of an object. This has carried somewhat into my church experiences where one looks at how a church functions, and also at the ‘air’ around the church. I visited Bel Air Presbyterian church in the hills looking over the North LA county. For being one of the more populated Presbyterian churches in LA it had a very ‘home’ feel to it. To be honest it didn’t really feel like a ‘church’ but rather a large meeting hall where friends gathered together. Much of the technical oriented stuff was tucked away and hidden to the best of their ability but there was just a feeling of peace and home that one does not always find in a building alone, often one needs people to make that happen. Yet I could easily see myself spending a morning there alone in quiet contemplation.

I just read this article on buildings, beauty, and the idea of ‘sacred.’ I find that this concept of sacred is important to many and that others are often not aware of it. In many of the churches I have been to it is difficult to separate the sacred from the social. It is the sacred that I have tried to recreate in my own space, and am moderately successful. Yet I don’t think that everyone understands a need for the space of the sacred.

One of the things that is mentioned in the above article is that buildings and spaces get forgotten over time for what they were built to create space for. Yet the building still holds meaning in the form of ‘sacred’ and it is understood that sacred is something that is now an adjective describing the building. The perception that a congregation has on a church is easily noted in how they tend to their pre-service activities. Often I will see friends in fellowship talking at normal volumes without consideration for others in the sanctuary/chapel. Other people will be near by and seeing to have a moment of contemplation and silent reflection but are unable to do so with the conversation.

I’m going to Saddleback sometime in the next two weeks to see what the church is like and I’m not sure what I will find. I have to say that I’m not a huge fan of the whole 40 days of purpose thing, if only cause I had to do it for 80 days back to back, but I have never seen him in person so it should be … interesting. I know I haven't made a point or anything concrete, but then again I'm still doing 'research.'

Blood and Tears

I finally found my brother’s blog tonight …

Strangely enough he posted yesterday, and seems to only post when he is getting all fired up, and thus I only see the hurt side. Yet within all this pain and struggle he has paid me two comments of genuine respect that have not only touched me deeply, but they have also allowed me to see him, and feel his pain. I barely have the words, yet I’m sure my tears could speak more than any words could ever do justice.

This isn’t really for any of my friend’s benefit, but rather for my brother’s. I know he reads my blog from time to time, and probably understands me more as we spent a few years growing up together, but what gets me is that he is excited for me and my moving through Seminary. I don’t quite get why as it probably means we agree to disagree about the nature of God and the universe. Yet at the same time I do understand, if only because I am excited to see where his life takes him. The both of us really had a few years after college where we were still trying to figure out what to do with our lives. I had only just begun to understand God’s call on my life, and my brother was figuring out his own life. Now the both of us are stepping into our lives and finally figuring out what we want to do with them … aside from having fun.

I don’t think I would ever call my brother the black sheep of the family and mean it. I can’t begin to describe the challenge that Luke 15:11 and following scare me sometimes, sometimes I wonder if this case there are two men on the porch waiting.

My emotions are kinda out of whack right now, but I think they have been moved to the right place.

Sunsets in Tahoe

Well I am in Tahoe. On my second day and we got some cloud cover to get some very very nice sunset pictures. The first is facing South East and the second one is facing West. The sun is just behind in the mountains in the picture below. I probably should have gotten the picture in the middle to watch the change in colors, but these two were the more interesting shots.







Either way, I am officially on vacation. I have decided to read the Harry Potter series, and I'm about 80% through the second one. More pictures to come as we cause some more trouble.

The Theology of Harry Potter

Yes … I went and saw midnight showing of Order of the Phoenix opening night. I’m not sure how I am presently awake, but I’m trying to make progress.

To prepare myself for the new film I watched the fourth one again and something struck me as very interesting. At the end of the fourth movie Harry and Dumbledore are talking and Dumbledore says the following that struck me as interesting, “You will have to choose between what is right, and what is easy.” This quote played tricks on me this morning…

I went to bed at 3am post movie. I had class at 8am. I forgot to set my alarm. My internal alarm woke me up at 6:45, at which point I rolled over to see that it was indeed 6:45, and then rolled back over to consider five more minutes of comfort from my pillow. At this point I rolled back over and found that it was now 7:30. At this point my brain proposed the idea of just skipping class, I rolled halfway over and had Dumbledore’s quote run through my head. At this point I complained audibly to no one in particular, rolled out of bed and was in class by 8am (with shower and caffeine).

Right vs Easy is in a very interesting contrast to Right vs Wrong. While I think that I have though in the terms of a ‘gray’ area for quite some time now, it was interesting to put it in this context and have a succinct quote that sums up those ideas.

As to the movie: I will simply quote Ron Weasley

“Wicked!”

Comedy by Becca

This is intended to be funny, and I didn't have any direct part in writing them, I did give basic suggestions that my friend Becca then wrote down, for maybe 2 of them. Other than that the below have no input from my finger strokes other than basic editing.

Top 10 reasons Alan is a better catch than your current options...

10. He notices details. Your favorite color, who your friends are, what you like to drink.

9. He says he will let his g/f decide what to do with his hair.

8. He will play sweet love songs on the guitar outside your window in the evening that will make you melt.

7. He likes Spuderitos, He will even pay.

6. He's in Grad school ladies, that means he is in the top 10% of highly educated people in the United States. You know what they say about a guy with a big brain....
(Big feet... in the theological sense)

5. He is secretly a member of the Geek Squad and can fix your computer problems... for free. Or at most for the price of a Spuderito.

4. From frisbee to football, you can see him take control of the field. Sweat is a natural pheromone by the way...

3. He has all his mom's recipes! You can expect a homemade meal. Cookies, salmon, fajitas... that's at least 3 nights or wining and dining (4 if you throw in a spuderito one night).

2. He has a good sense of humor. Like during finals week he wears his Monty Pithon shirt that says "I'm not quite dead yet."

1. And the number one reason Alan is a better catch than your other options is...
have you looked at your other options?

Respectfully Submitted by Becca

Thoughts that Haunt me …

It is now Sunday night … this has been going since about Friday mid-day

It started with an emotional snap. Those who are within my closer group of friends and know my immediate life get two guesses but should only need one. I’m not going to discuss that here, as it seems very minor in the grand scheme of things. What followed was about 20 hrs of work over a stretch of 36 hr stretch.

Mimeistry is a performing arts group that uses dance, mime, and comedy for the sole purpose of delivering the Gospel message. Their campus overlaps with William Carey International University. They have summer intensive learning classes near the end of July and their performing troupe was doing their fund raising on Fuller Campus through the Brehm Center. Friday was about 10 hrs of Tech/Dress rehearsal followed by 2 shows on Saturday. Aside from being really good at what they do, some of those images are still haunting me, as well as the music. To put it in perspective: I have learned to play one of the songs. Twenty hours … little tired.

Third ingredient: Systematic Theology of Ecclesiology, which is just a fancy way of saying what makes a church, church? I am Presbyterian by creed which means that I’m supposed to believe that the church is one thing (and from what I understand I do think that way, or I wouldn’t have gone to church this morning) and while there is room for some of my other understandings of what makes up an ecclesiology. Most of these are centered on my like for a sort of charismatic worship energy, something where I can ‘feel’ the presence of God.

And now for the fun part … season with short sleep, and restless sleep (I literally just came out from Ratatouille, sorry for all the cooking references) Snap leads into work, which shows me a glimpse of some who have embraced a ministry call, leading to a looking at my own call, and maybe trying to figure out how to take all the new information I have and combine it with the old. Mix in little sleep and a mind that has been trying to work on all of this at the same time.

I’m pretty much emotionally, mentally, and physically done. It is about 10pm and I doubt my mind will let me get more than 5 hrs tonight (I can hope for more). Yet it is the following words that haunt me:

(Chorus)
There are tears from the saints
For the lost and unsaved
We’re crying for them come back home
We’re crying for them come back home
And all your children will stretch out their hands
And pick up the crippled man
Father, we will lead them home
Father, we will lead them home

(Bridge)
Sinner, reach out your hands!
Children in Christ you stand!
Sinner, reach out your hands!
Children in Christ you stand!

- Tears of the Saints by Leeland
(Yahoo login needed for the video, but the audio is on their myspace page as well)

I am brought back to the passage that haunts Chap Clark (Mark 10:13-16) in his ministry. So much of his natural being is emulated within those verses and much of his ministry philosophy resonates with me on levels that I am only beginning to understand. God and I are very far from done with this conversation, and I’m not sure that the goal of this weekend was to just be ‘having a conversation.’ There are times that I want to stop and regroup, and God lets me be for a bit, but the conversation always continues at a latter point.

I have so many mental images from the Mimeistry show, so many questions in talking with God, countless requests for rest and sleep. The images haunt, the questions nag, and sleep is restless. At this point I had expected the weekend to be long, and that God was going to do some work on my heart, I didn’t realize that he was going to fiddle around with some other things while he was in there. I know they are being fixed for the better, but for now the work is not done, so it still hurts. Or in my case haunts my every hour.

My week off... so far

How hot it is it?

So hot that soda cans explode while sitting on the counter.

This must be why I got a mop for cleaning … it got its second work out tonight.

-------------------------

So I just finished working the Allelon conference put on by the Depree center. What that basically means is that I go to go to a nifty pastor’s conference for free. It was rather interesting listening to the chaos that was going on in the background. Each person who was at the conference had brought his or her own case study about a frustrating ministry experience. Then in groups they discussed them looking at options and then how to proceed. Now I came in during the middle of the conference so the basic teaching had already been done, but I was able to keep up enough to pull out some very interesting things.

The theme of the second day seemed to be frustration. I think what most of the pastors wanted was answers to how to now proceed, the problem came about when the panel of speakers basically said ‘there are no answers.’ It was interesting watching a series of questions centered around wanting an answer that will fix the problem when the speakers were only giving a method of moving the church from internal to mission/community minded.

By the end of the third/last day many of the people were comfortable dwelling in the tension of not having the answers to the question, but rather a mindset that there is a need to listen to the church congregation, not only by the pastors but by other members of the church leadership.

As I was sitting down with one of the pastors during dinner on the final day we had a discussion on the differences between generations and dealing with listening to every person. The whole conference has been building on a feeling that the church is about to make a change; how, what, and when it will happen is still an interesting question.

Summer ... at last!

There is a week of bliss, known as the week between quarters. During this time there is no class work, no papers, no tests, only moments to enjoy life and catch up on all the junk that has piled up over the last three weeks. It is now Friday and while I will be spending the later portion of the evening among friends, I am currently enjoying the blissful ability to do on of my favorite pastimes: as little as possible.

Tomorrow I will probably clean my apartment and make some minor revisions in the morning that need to be done, followed by a joyous party of chaos at the graduation party of two dear friends. But more importantly I should be getting to do some free time reading, which will be … odd. I’m not sure if I want to read some more theology as I have about 5 books that I have been wanting to read, or allow myself to have some fun (which is probably what will happen).

Normally around this time I begin to reflect on seminary, and seeing as I am officially at the mid-point of my seminary experience I’m sure some of that will come this week, but there are many other things that need to take place to allow for ‘clear’ thinking. But for my posterity and preview of things to come here is a short rundown

Finished Greek, and all my history classes; then took Pentateuch, Youth and Evangelism, and Grief, Loss, Death, and Dying as my side classes. Somewhere in there is the forgettable Foundations for Ministry class.

More to come as life carries on…

Truth (Tell no lies)

Preface:
1) This is my first song I have ever written, so ... it is what it is ...
2) This is what I can piece together of the day my mom found out she had cancer

Truth (Tell no lies)

It’s Dad’s Birthday today
Home from school I see my mother first
She freezes as she tells me
Dad’s birthday is now six months away

Walking in the door
I can see that something’s wrong
And the Script that’s rehearsed fades as

I see into her eyes,
They tell me all I need to know
That you are afraid
So tell, tell me no lies
So I am not alone
To make up all the ‘coulds’ and ‘ifs,’
If you go …

Dad is doing his best to be strong
But he is torn apart I don’t notice
He is crying on the inside
And I simply dismiss the pain in the room

Going back to my life
He follows me outside
With a breath he says everything

I see into his eyes,
They tell me all I need to know
That you are afraid
So tell, tell me no lies
So I am not alone
To make up all the ‘coulds’ and ‘ifs,’
If you go …

I count myself one of the lucky ones
He and she are still with me
I have not felt the pain of death
But somehow I know when …

I see into your eyes,
They tell me all I need to know
That you are afraid
So I, I you no lies,
That I don’t understand it all
But I will be here
If you call

The Minstrel

I wrote a song over the last week. Granted it was for a class, but it has some traction. I'm not 100% happy with all the words, but I'll post them here after Tuesday night when I play it for class.

It is kinda scary...

I Don't Know

It isn’t quite finals week but it feels like it…

“Only when grace is recognized to be incomprehensible is it grace.” - Karl Barth

Turned in a paper on Wednesday (the 23rd) regarding Karl Barth and Adolf von Harnack. And while the paper is done, this quote still comes back around to bother me and comfort me all at the same time. Last night was no different as the Presby group on campus had their graduation banquet and one of the main points of the evening was being a steward of the mysteries of God.

Now … I find myself a very practical, logistical, almost strategic person. When doing a task I normally can see most of the angles and many of the problems that could arise from any number of situations. I am a firm believer in Murphy’s Law and to some extent enjoy a good challenge. Yet through all of this I try to be aware of where and when God moves through all of these things. I have seen moderately planned events that should have been stressful turn out like roses. I have seen the most structured plans go off the deep end and drown. In both of these cases I have seen God affect lives and work through hearts.

It is in these mysteries that I find an odd combination of peace and nervousness. I want to understand, I want to know, I want to have something tangible to grab onto. I want to have a little bit of God in a box, just to say that I understand that much. That isn’t to say that I don’t understand the purpose of everything that has been done, but the ‘how?’ and from time to time the ‘why?’ trip me up. When dealing with a mystery we, or at least I, want to find out the answer. And where there is no answer, then I have to accept the fact that it is a mystery and … be OK with that? …

I forget how one of my professors put it but the basic idea was to ‘dwell with the mysteries of God.’ Dwell is an interesting word and it is almost ‘living by choice’ rather than just ‘being among.’ I think there are some mysteries that I dwell with, although I can’t describe them. Other mysteries have maybe come over and spent the night. Perhaps there are some that I dwell with that I don’t even know about. More than anything I think the acceptance of the mysteries of God allows me to say ‘I don’t know.’ And there is a peace in those words, some tension, but a peace an humbling that works as a reminder to recognize that there are things that are incomprehensible.

Breaking Stuff

So I have broken a few things in my lifetime. Some have caused me personal injury, others were a source of personal anger management errr relaxation therapy, some things were meant to be broken, and other things were not.

These are a few stories about the ‘nots.’

This idea came to me today as I have broken my capo for my guitar. For those of you playing the home game; a capo is a piece of metal that goes on the strings of the guitar to alter the sound that the strings make. It is commonly used to make playing songs easier instead of having to use difficult to maintain finger positions. A capo is basically spring loaded and I broke the spring. Now the spring is a solid piece of metal that, although under a great deal of stress, should not break easily. The broken off part would probably require a tetanus shot if I poked you with it. Now … Guitar playing lends itself to strong hands, more notably so when you learn to play bar chords (one of the reasons to get a capo). But I didn’t think I was THAT strong. This resulted in me going to guitar center and picking up a new one, but I did have a solid 20 minutes of shock trying to figure out what in the world just happened.

A memorial service will be held for the capo at a latter date…

The earlier memory was back a few years when I was playing in a high school youth band. Now … guitar strings break all the time, I don’t break them all that often, but when I do they are more of an annoyance than anything else. It is such a common occurrence that volumes of jokes have been written about the 4th string down from the top. However, in the high school band I didn’t know how to play guitar … just bass guitar. Now I didn’t break the smallest string on my bass, I broke the largest. This string (I just looked on my current bass) is about the same thickness as my capo spring. Luckily this was in practice so that I could just go barrow the pastor’s and play for the rest of the evening, but I received many jokes about the 4th string down and many comments of fearfulness that I could crush someone with my thumb. That and our acoustic guitar player would always break strings so it was his turn to get some of the sass out of his system. It was ok, he still breaks strings on a monthly basis.

I feel like I should have more funny stories about this … but nope. As it is my hands are going to have be registered as lethal weapons to musical equipment. Mothers, do you know where your pianos are?

Musical Intermission

So I have a paper due this week (in 24 hrs). So here are a couple of fun pieces for your enjoyment by a guy by the name of Trace Bundy. Really stinking good guitar player.

Pachelbel Canon


Carol of the Bells


Your regular nonsensical drivel will return next week.

Enjoy

Musical Blogs

I have been trying to do this blog thing once a week since the start of this quarter and been doing an OK job of it. I find my life isn’t all that interesting some weeks, so from time to time I might have to make up some fake news, but there will be warning signs when I get there.

This week has been very … musical … I guess is an appropriate word. I led worship in chapel last Monday playing some of my favorite songs, more cause well I wanted to and nobody was going to get in my way so neyah. This was followed with many many airport runs (ok 2) where I played ‘airport taxi’ from LAX to Pasadena for a few friends who went to Cursillo for participation as well as staff members and one other traveler who managed to land around the same time as the others. This afforded me much time in my car with my slightly damaged Ipod. It still plays but it does have the minor issue that part of the screen is unreadable. These trips afford me some time to enjoy some good driving and good driving music as well as get a better feel for some of the lyrics that get brushed over as they play while my focus us elsewhere.

Thursday night was much fun. I joined my friends Josh, Rebecca, and Laura for a jam session of banjo, guitar, bass, piano, mandolin, and voice proportions. Rotating through songs and just learning a bunch of music while having fun around friends who I had not seen in a long time (in Josh and Rebecca - They got married over spring break and are not on campus much this quarter.) It was a very relaxing experience that will have to take place again.

Friday was lots of fun as I got to revisit my Cursillo experience with a few of the people who had been. It was a time of talking, remembering, good food, a little worship but in general it was fun to just revisit memories that I had forgotten about, and hearing from the new people about their experience as well as finding out that some of the folks over in Houston were asking about me. Odd, yes. Comforting, yes.

Saturday I took the evening out to go see Rosie Thomas in concert at Fuller for Art’s week. It was a very slow style of music but they were just having a good time. The band had gotten lost on their way to Pasadena, and ended up getting about an hour south before they realized they had gone too far. Their minds were kinda gone, but it was funny to watch. It was interesting to see Rosie who has a singing voice similar to Sarah McLaughlin (or that was my first and second impression) and then to have a speaking voice that was … well … not. Still it was interesting to see a very simple musical background that gave way to very powerful lyrics. I noticed a few things that I want to try on guitar, but that will probably have to wait some. It is a working weekend and I’m about 1/3 the way done with my reading for my next paper.

Final thoughts: Rocky Road Brownies (sans nuts) are quite tasty and I still have about 1/3 of the batch left at the time of writing this … ummmmmmmm.

A Little R&R

I have said this verbally to some people, but man … am I glad that last quarter is over. I can remember feeling like a punch-me clown that would get back up only because I had to and not because I was taunting someone. This quarter has been much more fun with much less stress (so far)

I think the first thing is that I am again playing Frisbee (aka Therapy). Never have I had so much joy from running around like a dog catching a circular object. I almost had a diving catch this morning, instead I have a small grass burn but it is better than stress. I turned in my first paper of the quarter without having to stay up late, or feel like I was in crunch time. I have had time to play guitar not because I am slacking (well I kinda am) but because I have the time to do so. I have four-day weekends. I have my internship lined up for next year. my room is clean and able to entertain guests. I get to blog every week (or do if I remember to). But mostly I think I don’t have weights attached to every limb of my body and a pack strapped to my back.

I don’t say this to brag but over the past couple of weeks quite a few of my friends have commented on how worn down I looked at the end of last quarter. Looking back I can see the concern they had at the time and the love that they showed. I owe those people a thank you for being a calming force in my life when I normally try to fill that role for others, even in the middle of my own personal chaos. I have never had this much peace when looking ahead to a quarter, my calendar is not filled with 5 million things to do, but has a manageable number of events, activities, and leisure time.

As this quarter continues on I know that I will get busy, but for now I have rest, and it has been quite some time since I have had it.

The Stone Age of Comics

There will be more laughter in heaven these days: Johnny Hart, creator of B.C., Passed away on Saturday.

As Becca would say "Sad day."

What now?

Holy week is a little odd for me sometimes. For the first time in any times that I can remember I was simply a congregation member of the church for the entire duration. No worship to prepare, no Easter eggs to hide; my only role was to sit back and watch. I attended a Maundy Thursday service in Burbank and a Good Friday service in Glendora and then celebrated Easter back in Burbank. And somewhere in all this the background music to this Play in 4 (or so) parts has been a soundtrack of Bethany Dillon’s new CD (more on this in a later post).

Thursday was spent catching up on errands that needed to get done, but the afternoon and evening was spent celebrating a friend’s B’day and then going out to Burbank and hearing Schubert’s Mass sung by the choir. While they had been doing them for Choral anthems for the past few weeks the added string quartet was … new. I think I slowly let myself go and allowed the music to tell the story. It was all in Latin and while the translation was given in the bulletins it wasn’t needed. The soul of the music carried everything that needed to be said. Voice and string told the story with notes that danced and played and at times cried. It was a beautifully told story, yet no words were needed.

Friday was another relaxing day of doing … well … nothing productive. But the end of the day found me fighting traffic eastward, and what is normally a 20-minute drive takes 20 minutes plus an extra hour. We got to Good Friday late and had a restful evening in consideration of the dark night.

I spent both these nights with a pair of good friends and we talked about the whole weekend as a whole. And while my only thought on Friday night was ‘It has all gone horribly wrong.’ Without looking ahead of what was to come I could not see past that moment and putting myself in the place of the disciples. Scattered, fearful, hanging by a noose, crying at a personal betrayal … all of these emotions sort of sorting themselves out with no real answer to the question of ‘What now?’

Saturday I found myself out playing Frisbee and remembering which muscles I used when I played (if only for the soreness). That afternoon was a nap followed by finishing some reading for a paper that is due soon. I was at a friend’s house and we spent the post-dinner in conversation and then playing guitar/singing and working through songs, and while I didn’t realize it at the time, we were doing exactly what we were supposed to be doing. Praising God in song, in fellowship, and by simply gathering together, till midnight (aka way past my bedtime).

This morning (Sunday) I returned to Burbank to worship with a 4-part brass section. I should probably preface this story with the information that my Dad (a pastor) is very pro-baby in his services. That if a baby cries out during his sermon he takes it for an ‘Amen’ and then he continues right on. So when the brass section finished the first hymn (Christ the Lord is Risen Today) in … a very triumphant processional type of feeling, from about the middle of the church a young boy simply cried out in joy “Yeaaa!” And in that moment he was the one who understood everything that Easter meant.

It isn’t strings, horns, Thursdays, Schubert, Fridays, or why everything seems to have gone horribly wrong. It is about Sunday, when we find out the answer to the question of ‘What now?’

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“YEAAA!”

The Spring of aut 7

Finished on week of school already and I can tell that this quarter is going to be draining but highly encouraging. I have been looking at my quarter and there are very few large things that need planning for but many small ones.

Greek - 3rd and Final Quarter
Finally … I get to put all the pieces together and have it make sense. Translate and deal with tough stuff and work through some of the intricate things that go on between word relationships. I feel more energy about it than I did last quarter, but then again memorizing verb paradigms is never fun.

Modern Church History
Sometimes referred to by professor name (aka Thompson, John), this is the last bit of church history that I have to take and it has been quite a ride in going from one quarter to the next. This will probably require most of my intellectual energy this quarter, as it is a paper and reading type of class.

Grief, Death, Loss, and Dying
This will hands down be the most emotionally draining class I have every taken and probably will take (except perhaps from the school of hard knocks). I am pretty sure I will be staring down Tuesdays with a mix of joy and dread. Having already finished one book for the class I know that it is just going to be lots of self-examination. I am very happy that the class is not a pile of papers but rather the molding of hearts. Tuesdays have taken on a very odd feeling, I’m not sure if I am a “Tuesday person” yet, I hope to be by the end of the quarter.

Everything Else
I think my room has been the cleanest it has been since I moved furniture in. I actually feel like I can have company over and be hospitable rather than feeling like I have to apologize for the state of my room. Posters are up, I have a table for two that can serve four with a little shuffling around, my room has the feeling that I am able to live and not feel surrounded by chaos.

So I have sifted through most of my new music, and I make the following recommendation to everyone. Pick up Toby Mac’s Portable Sounds CD. The music just sits with you no matter the mood and has lyrics that inspire. It will be getting me through most of this quarter; it works as study music, relaxing music, and free time soundtrack.

Random Musings

Preface:
I have misplaced my brain, all of the below comments referring to specific people are meant in jest, sometimes those moments are wonderful if only for the lack of sleep (apologizes to Sarah now).

The world has officially moved into the computer age: Goodwill no longer accepts typewriters for donation.

So I am officially a tea fan. My dear friend Laura has been a wonderful instructor in the preparation, ritual, and intricacies of tea. I know ‘roughly’ what I like and I must say that it was nice having chai to wake me up to write papers during finals week.

So I’m at home doing Spring, Summer and Fall cleaning at my parents house for a couple of days. (Yes I am talented enough that I can do 9 months of cleaning in the course of one week) This involves yardwork, garage work, and the strange necessity to shower twice a day, and I still have dirt behind my ears …

When I picked up Sophie and Sarah from the airport about … 2 or 3 weeks ago, they both had just come from playing Guitar Hero. Both thought I would love it (not realizing that I already am a guitar hero in disguise), and highly recommended that I find someone who had it to try it out. I have, I like, I want. Anyone wanna sell me a PS2?

Going back to having ‘moments of clarity’ that are basically the realization of something taught in class and then seeing it in reality. I have had quite a few of those while I have been home. Mostly after the fact but I can think of about 7 (and counting) specific instances where I have had my mind wander and then stop on one of these moments.

In the world of 24 … someone is about to get messed up cause Jack is … well ticked off is too much of a understatement, so I think ‘homicidal’ is probably more accurate. That and Charles Logan is officially on my ‘Good Guy’ list.

Is it a bad thing to be taking more stuff back to Pasadena with me when I already am very limited in the space I have? *Looks in his trunk, Looks in Sarah’s direction* “Yes Sarah, my car does have a trunk.”

Having finished Foundations in seminary has left me with a feeling that might be more joyous than when I graduated College. As if a great weight has been lifted off my shoulders and thrown into the lake of fire with great fanfare and pyrotechnics. Followed by a great choir singing in angelic voices giving praise to God for the defeat of a horrible foe ... I think I feel like river dancing.

Junior Highers that I watched grow up when I was at home between College and Seminary now have their driver’s license. I’m getting old(er).

After having 3 months of intense schoolwork I have worn out most of my music collection. Additions have been made that require large portions of my free time to sort out and figure out what I like and what I don’t.

Oh there is my brain … right on top of my head.

Confessions of a Seminary Student

Ok a slight confession, well maybe two:

1) Most of the time I have no idea what I am talking about:
One of the things that was made abundantly clear to me this quarter is that I am here by God’s grace, because I just don’t think like an academic theologian most of the time. I have found that my beliefs really are more of a cloud than well thought out and cemented into my brain and life. Example: In one of my classes we had to write a paper on Calvin and predestination. While I wrote it myself a friend of mine had a long conversation about the sovereignty of God and how that applies to her beliefs, which began to make me wonder about mine. What I have realized is that growing up I never had a confirmation class where I was taught all these things within the context of the church, despite being a PK (Pastor’s Kid). Now I want to sort this out but the reality of that situation was that the paper was due not 8 hours from that conversation … inopportune? I think so. Now that Spring break is here I have been able to look back and consider some of those things as I begin to put shape to the beliefs that are this cloud in my head.

2) I have a terminal case of Foot-in-Mouth Disease:
What this really means is that my brain fails to engage with the words that come out of my mouth. What results are some poorly timed sharp words that really never should have left my mouth. Most of the time no good comes from it, but hindsight is always 20/20 and some good has. I have learned two things:

The first is how to deal with conflict and to put my self, pride, ego, stupidity on the side and reach a point of sincere apology, and then to work from there. For all the shoe leather that I have tasted over the last year or so, I don’t feel as if I hold the label of being a jerk, but rather that I have jerk like moments.

The second is that I have been fine-tuning my ‘filter.’ Or in some cases I have just engaged my brain, as that is all that is needed. Some of the more delicate conversations I have learned to approach from a safe angle rather than cannonball into the shallow end.

What is really fun is when the two problems I have get together. This is commonly called ‘digging one’s self into a hole.’ When this situation occurs I normally dig with a really big shovel or small explosives, whichever is handy at the moment. Either way those that I have managed to be a jerk to have returned with grace that is beyond what is due, and for that I am thankful. For the friendship, and for the patience to deal with me.

-- Non-serious post coming later when I either feel in the mood, or am on cold medicine, or when my head doesn’t feel like it is 10 pounds heavier.

My Current State of Mind/Mush

I just finished writing one of my many papers that seem to all be due within a few weeks of each other, (Must be finals time) and to celebrate I went and visited my favorite site that tests useless information: You Don't Know Jack. Around December of aut-6 they came out with a weekday series of questions that can be taken online, these can be done in under two minutes and normally inform me of how little I know about Jack. However this morning's adventure left me with a 0 out of 7. I mean ... I normally get at least 4 right and it is multiple choice of two options (most of the time).

Anywho: I hope that 0/7 doesn't give me a sense of how this day is going to go, I'm going to go get something w/ caffinee

Of Worship...

I have a feeling that I might be doing step exercise on my soapbox here, but I’m well aware of that going into this. This post I think is a result of a combination of things. First is my internal nature to view everything ‘church’ in light of worship. Not just musical worship, but time spent worshiping God with time, energy, talent, etc etc. While music is probably a major part of my theological reflection in that everything that I see about church comes from music and how music interacts with the worship service with special attention to the congregation. Second is a one day worship seminar put on by Fuller’s Brehm Center that looked at worship from an exegetical standpoint (Talks were from Exodus 33 and Isaiah 6). Final is a reading of A Generous Orthodoxy by Brian Mclaren, which has been interesting to read and consider.

A short preface before I put on my gym clothes and probably get a little ‘uppity’ in my choice of words; I have very little training in my denominational background. My dad is a pastor and while I am following in his footsteps, my youth was spent building a church with no programs, youth groups, or even church building until I was in high school. Never had a Confirmation class, or any form of spiritual discipline training until I was supposed to be enacting all these things as a volunteer youth leader.

The catalyst for this fleshing out of worship came from a comment that was made within church service. I could repeat it here but I’m not sure that it would be useful other than getting me fired up. What should be noted is that if the band was mine, the person would be sent on a time of refection as to what worship is, the person would ‘take five’ (weeks) to consider the comment, and the concept of worship, and how good shoe leather tastes.

But enough uppity and more on reflection… The conference this weekend was one of the best events I got paid to attend. (A perk of working for Fuller’s on-campus audio/visual tech group.) The first talk from Exodus came centered around the Tent of Meeting. While I was only listening on and off while trying to read a book for class; the central focus was meeting God, not just worshiping him. Meeting God then required a conversation, which leads to a relationship. That relationship leads to marriage, where God’s people take the form of the bride. The bride language goes through the whole of the Bible. The funny part is Moses in Ex. 33 ASKS to see God’s Glory and get it. As a result he has to wear a veil (Bridal? I think so).

My theology of musical worship is based out of John 3:30 and works something like this: It’s not about me. Strangely enough much of my theology is centered on that statement. John 3:30 is John the Baptist’s statement “He must increase, but I must decrease.” (NRSV) I have always viewed my musical worship in this manner that I am not a leader but a participant as well. Many times in my room, I will sit with my guitar and play it, offering up notes in worship. Many times I do this if I find myself for a lack of words for prayer (which is often) and normally the music and tone affects the sound that my fingers produce as if echo my heart.

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I wrote the ‘above the line’ a few days ago. I have calmed down some, and gotten sick so that I have ‘less’ energy to finish my line of thinking. I’m not even sure where I was going with this post. Sometimes I just have to get my head put in some other place if only so I can focus on my schoolwork. While I am very particular about worship, particularly musically, it is because that is where I see most Christians are in their faith. Sometimes called pew potatoes, which is fair to some and not fair to others. Try this sometimes when visiting another church, where does the worship point, and what is the reaction of the congregation to the various things that come up over the course of the service. It is really really interesting.

But I have good news; I have secured my internship for next school year. All is well and I am really excited about learning all the behind the scenes stuff that happens in a church.

And if a Spuderito sees it's shadow ...

One of my favorite quick stop food places has gotten an extension on it's closing. Rick's is has another 9 months of making my stomach happy. They were supposed to close sometime right around now so that they could be some low income condos (read with dripping sarcasm).

Spuderitios for all!

Ritualistic Aging

On the 5th (of February) I turn 27. The celebration, however, has already begun. One of the signs that my birthday is arriving is the need to consider what to get my brother for his birthday (on Jan 31st). Now the both of us being guys we have kinda reached the point where we just look at each other and go out and buy something in the name of the other. It is kinda sad, but it works, it is less work and probably a sign of our relationship. (that last part coming from the nagging part of my brain.)

That thought aside I spent the weekend with my family and doing very little schoolwork, with the exception of scouting out my Youth and Evangelism project. Saturday night I played volleyball and, after a shower, drove down to San Diego to celebrate with some old friends from High School and a bunch of my brother’s friends from college. Being the only Christian in the room it made for an interesting evening. I learned how to play a drinking game (they allowed for soda or water to replace your alcoholic beverage of choice), watched another (alcohol required), and had some really grubby carne asada for dinner. It was a good time where the games even allowed for conversation and enjoying a good time of making fun of each other. There was of course the evilness that eventually comes out of a few extra drinks and is not fit to post in a blog, but is still really funny to describe if you ask.

That night I stayed at the brothers-girlfriends-parent’s house. This is an experience that I have had before, and the second visit confirmed some existing suspicions, and made me realize some others. The family has some of the most ordered-chaos that I know of. Let me explain … no that would take too long, let me sum up. The family has 9ish kids, I can’t remember the exact number, but ages range from 30ish to 7 or so. They live by the strict code of “You sleep where you fall.” When we walked in at around 11pm, the dad was on the floor curled up in the fetal position and sawing logs while the rest of the family was getting a second dinner, or chatting about upcoming events. Think Cheaper by the Dozen, but with added chaos and larger variety of ages. Yet the thing that was confirmed for me the most, was the family unity that flowed through that family. That family functions in some form of unified front that defies natural logic. I can’t explain it, nor do I think that I would understand it if I spent a week there (granted I would probably go insane first) but there are admirable qualities within the chaos.

I spent Sunday morning recharging batteries, checking email, talking about life and plans, then drove up to Mission Viejo to scout out my Youth Evangelism project. That is another story, but after spending about 3 hours there I left and met my parents for some pre-dinner dinner. Had a good talk with them about classes and looking at youth ministry and trying to form what I have learned into coherent thought and having only minor success.

After that we went to dinner at a restaurant called The Five Crowns in Corona Del Mar. Spent the evening in fine dining and good company. It was a nice rest, and a good time to just enjoy being a family again, even if just for a moment.

As I get older I realize how much friends and family mean to me. As I get old one of my hopes is that I become wiser. I think it is weird that at almost-27 I still get comments on my teach-ability. I think more than that is an understanding where God has blessed me. I have come to an understanding that one of the greater gifts that have been given to me is that of friends who surround me and are there for me. Those of you who are just around, all I want for my Bday is to enjoy time spent together.

A Dim Mirror

Ok Ok … I’m putting the soapbox away and actually going to go against what might be my better judgment (This in itself is a paradox as if I am lacking in judgment how do I know if I am having good judgment to begin with). For all the talk that I did in my last post about video games I am going to get in my car and go see what potential there is. To be honest I am not sure what I am going to find down there as I have been removed from being a member of the world. Now I come and view from the outside looking in, and I’m not sure what I will see.

I know on the surface I will see a large number of individuals playing computer games and having a good time. What I am scared of is finding out what is underneath that facade. I think one of the dangers is seeing my own dark side, or at least a shadow of it. Understand that I am aware that I still have my dark side tendencies. I normally don’t have to go very far either. Now as an ‘outsider’ looking in what will I see? Or maybe better yet is what will my reaction be?

One of [Professor] Chap’s biggest things about doing youth ministry is to be looking at a group of kids and to see, understand, and feel for the kids; and as a result be unable to hold back the tears. One of my mentors in my younger years commented on the difference between seeing the crowd and seeing the faces of the individuals. I have seen the crowd most of my life, and while I have seen the individual faces it was a smaller group and there was no crowd to blur the lines. To be talking to a larger group of people and to see the difference between the crowd, as a single unit, and the individual faces. To see the individual needs, wants, aspirations, pains, joys, sorrows, trials, and so on.

One of the topics of discussion that came up in our foundations small group was a youth pastor’s role; specifically in the difference between being a friend and being an authority figure, spiritual as it may be. My personal mode is of a friend; I have not been in the situation where I had to be the authority figure. I take that back, I choose not to be in at least one situation. (It is a good story, but not presently applicable.)

What am I going to see when I go down there … I’m not sure. I am sure I will see glimpses of myself. I am sure I will see glimpses of my future ministry without knowing it. But I am not so sure I will see the faces come out of the crowd.

Note: After typing this whole thing I looked on my calendar and realized I am working on that night … figures.

Soapbox: Video Games and Youth

I am a video game addict. Not was, am.

While I have done ok through the course of my seminary career I still have my ear to the sounds of the electronic gaming industry. I realize that I could open up a whole can of worms here, and I might.

What is often missed is that people are not very stupid anymore. Sony made a very very large advertisement mistake this Christmas when they hired an advertisement company to use ‘viral’ marketing. (viral Marketing is basically a word of mouth marketing, but using internet tools such as myspace, blogs, etc etc) Three days later: Sony had removed the information from the site and had been found out. (Link) Next fun thing is the Christmas releases of both the Xbox 360 and the Playstation 3. How bad was it? Gaming stores gave individuals redeemable tickets after robbers held up a line waiting outside overnight.

Now I don’t care how anything really gets advertised, more than anything I normally buy second hand stuff in a technology oriented system. Any computer is outdated normally by the next year, and video gaming systems have a life span of about three. Here is where it gets fun: video game consoles (Xbox, Playstation, Wii) all have price tags starting at $400 and up. That is more money than I spend on food in a month. Add on the joy of games at $50+.

Now I have never been a true console gamer, I normally try to barrow a console and play the games that I want to once through and then be done with them. My vice has always been computer games. Most notable was the modification for Half-Life called Counter-Strike. In my heyday I could sit down and play for 5 hours straight with only breaks for a refill of my soda, or get another snack. I can rationalize the time spent as well; at least to myself, others might disagree. Shortly after college I got out, and let that part of my life go.

Even in college I had my limits: it was the age of Everquest. One of my early rules in playing games was that I would not pick up a game with no ending, nor would I pay money beyond an Internet connection to continue to play the games. Today there is World of Warcraft. How popular is it? It has been on Jeopardy.

Blah blah blah … so what’s the point I’m trying to say here? Seminary class: Youth and Evangelism Final project. One of the choices is to spend some time in an area where youth hang out and just listen in on conversations. In the back of my head I want to find an Internet gaming café and hang out there. I know of a 300 computer/100 Xbox café south of Irvine (40 min drive) that is open till 2am on Friday night. One of the largest fights in my ministry to youth has been that of dealing with technological attraction to video games. The literal truth in some cases has been that paying for the kid to play on the computer is cheaper than a baby sitter and the kid has more fun. Now granted most conversation over video games are those complaining about how the game is cheating them or some other player is cheating, but there is a who culture of video gaming that I would say (blind guess) 85% of males have been exposed to, what is scary is the slow growth of female population find interest in the games. (At least of people that I know) One of my old high school girls could probably put on a clinic at some console games. (She can also hurt me if she really wanted to, so I try to stay on her good side.)

I concede the point that there are some people who should not play video games. Not for reasons that uses up time, but for reasons of mental instability. I know of multiple stories where individuals have logged onto games, then killed themselves while logged in. (I just don’t feel like using my google-fu) I have had friends where the relationships within games were more important than those outside. I could take this into a whole different realm of online anonymity, but that takes a whole rant unto itself.

Part II to come next week when I get some free time ...